tournament diaries 2004 USTA National 55 Grasscourt Championships 2004 National 55 Grass 9/12 The End of the Nationals and the beginning of the Cup matches Today was special. After the highs of yesterday’s semifinal wins I came into today with more work to do. I was now in a position to do something that I had never done before. Last year I won the singles and doubles at a National for the first time. Today I could complete a double double. Funny, I didn’t think about it all day until both matches were over. Incredible. I won both. In the morning, with good friends, family and Carol in attendance I beat one of the two or three best players I have ever beaten. I was calm as could be before the match. I was ready for any outcome. I wasn’t afraid of winning or losing. I just wanted to play a good match. I choked a little before the match started when he won the spin and chose to receive. Incredibly, I chose to serve on the side facing the sun, with the wind in my face. I was fortunate to serve well and win that first game at love. I knew, then, that I could play with him. We both held serve through the first eleven games and then, with 6’7” Turville serving to get into a tiebreaker, I broke serve to win the first set 7-5. It was the first headway that I had made on his serve. I broke him in the second game of the second set and, even though I had a couple of tough holds, I held on to my serve the rest of the way and won the set 6-3. I threw my arms up and ran to the side of the court and hugged Carol, Jane, Ron and everybody else who was there. I was so much more excited than I expected. I wasn’t aware of the amount of pressure that I put on myself to win this year in this way. Forty minutes later Cheney and I played in the doubles finals against USA teammates Bronson and Bohannon. Cheney asked if I was ready. High from my win, I was also unrealistic. I told him I was ready in spite of no stretching, scarfing down one half of a chicken cutlet and giving myself very little time. I played ok for a few games and then started to fade. With me playing fair and Cheney doing the bulk of the work we dropped my serve at 5-4 on a double fault and lost a first set tiebreaker. I was feeling like I wanted to leave for Philly. I had done enough today. Of course, my automatic pilot wanted to win and I kept competing hard. We hung around the set and served at 5-6. During that game we fought off three match points. Into the tiebreaker, we fought off some more match points and won it 10-8. I was now exhausted. Ten minute break. I had some fruit, talk to some people on the side and said, “ I don’t have a choice. I have to play one more set. I might as well do whatever I can to win it. I am going to crank up my energy.” Sure enough, I was able to find it, started to play well, we broke serve early and held on. I served the last game to win the second gold ball of the day. I was glad that I got to play in such an exciting, close final. I relearned so much in the last two days. I relearned that I have a lot of heart when playing, that I have the courage to go for it in big moments, that I love to be in the close moments in matches and that I want to hit the shot when the pressure is on in the biggest moments in the match. I relearned the value of doing everything possible to get relaxed before playing and before each point. Tennis life is easier when I am relaxed. We are now in Philly. We start to compete for the Cup tomorrow with a match against Norway. Captain Cheney feels confident and is giving me the day off so that I will be well rested for the rest of the week. How cool. I feel like a professional athlete. Because the doubles lasted 3 1/2 hours, we didn’t get to Philly in time for opening ceremonies. It is ok. The whole day was a ceremony. Journal Entry Semis of Singles and Doubles On 9/11 I woke up and felt blessed to be able to compete. Winning and losing aren’t that big a deal. Great day at the office today. Beat #1 ranked player in the semis 6-2, 6-4. I went in concerned that I hadn’t had enough tough match situations to be playing such a good player that far in the tournament. Turned out all right in that I played a very clean match. I was really pleased with how mentally consistent I was. I was in great control of my level of relaxation, my attention to the points, my nervousness, my fears and my overall focus on what I was out there doing. I also maintained a very strong physical presence on the court. For the entire match my posture was strong and my walk was confident. The result was that I was in complete control of the first set with one small wrinkle: my opponent was serving at 1-5 and I thought about how Roddick let Johannson get a little confidence the other night by not breaking his serve at 1-5. I knew that I should shut the door on my opponent by taking it to him. I didn’t play tough. I couldn’t get myself to feel a sense of urgency. He won his serve and, even though, I served out the first set at 6-2, he was now in the match. We played close until I was able to raise my game, just a notch, to break him to take a 5-4 lead. I played a nervous game that included a broken string at deuce, changing to a new racket, hitting a double fault, and fighting off two break points, but it worked out in the end and I held for the match. I served great. I thought about how excellent my serve is when I demonstrate it in a lesson and used that image throughout the match. It was the best that I have served in a big match situation. The doubles semis were anything but routine. Playing with Brian Cheney, my USA team captain and owner of about 70 National Championships, we played a team that has won 20 National Doubles titles. Brian and I pulled it out in over three hours by a score of 5-7, 6-4, 7-6. The level was high and the intensity was over the top. Every single point was crucial. It seemed that there was never a time in the match that either team had the lead. Each point was fiercely competed for. It was exciting for me to play with such great players and to really feel that I belong. I have come a long way with my game. Tomorrow I play 6’7” Larry Turville. He has a huge serve that seems like it is coming out of a tall tree. His wingspan makes him tough to beat around the net. He has won many, many titles. He, like Cheney, is among the top 1% of the best senior players. Cannot wait to play him. My body feels good. My energy is fine. I am relaxed. I am into it. Singles tomorrow at 10. Doubles at 2. Doubles finals will be against the other two member of the USA team. Right at the conclusion the four of us will hustle down to Philadelphia and try to arrive in time for the Opening Ceremonies of the Sr. Davis Cup matches. Monday the competition for the Team World Championships begins. Right now I am in good position to play #1 for our team. It will be up to our team captain and I hope that I get the chance. Journal Entry 9-10 Beautiful day today. I felt relaxed on my way to the club. Got in a nice on an elliptical machine and then did some new dynamic stretches that I recently discovered. They make me feel loose and energized. My quarterfinal opponent was a lefty against whom I had played three other times, winning all of them. I went in confident but not overconfident. I knew that I needed to take one point at a time. He won the toss and chose to face the sun, which is very bad for lefties when we started the match. I chose to serve, so had the sun at my back. I lost the first game at love and then moved to the side looking into a blinding sun. Interesting. It made me focus even better and I won the next 10 points of the match. I served well, returned well and did everything consistently. Ended up with a 6-1, 6-2 victory. Stopped and got another good stretch from the physical therapist because my body was still complaining about the three matches in two days on the hardcourts. Just chilling tonight in preparation for tomorrow’s semifinals in singles and doubles. My singles opponent beat me this year at the National Indoors and is leading the point race for #1. I look forward to playing him on the grass where I feel that I have a little more to throw at him. I want to serve a high percentage of first serves, be consistent on my first volleys and make a lot of service returns. The key on the grass is to make somebody win the point rather than taking too big a chance and giving the point away. Of course, when presented with the opportunity to end it, going for it is the right play. Maintaining the balance between patience and attacking is an ongoing challenge when playing. Journal Entry end of day Sept. 9 Woke up to more rain and a call that the singles quarterfinals would be postponed to Friday in the hopes of getting us on the grass. Doubles quarterfinals were on and going to be played indoors on the hardcourts in the late afternoon. My body was not feeling so flexible after yesterday’s two matches on the hardcourts. I spent the morning trying to stretch out but didn’t make too much progress so I went to a great physical therapist who worked on me for a while. It definitely helped, as did the fact that I was feeling better overall. Winning those first two singles matches reduced some of the pressure that I have been feeling all week...the pressure of defending the title and of playing well to secure my position for next week on the team. I have also felt some pressure playing doubles, for the first time, with Brian Cheney who is one of the greatest senior players to have ever played. I felt relaxed in our doubles, very confident that we had too much game for them. We won 6-1, 6-4. When we were leading 2-1 in the second set, I was serving and suggested that we try the “I” formation, where Cheney sets up directly over the center line. I thought it would be a good idea for us to practice it in case we needed it in another match. Sure enough we lost the next two points and had to battle to hold serve. We had changed our mentality from competing to practicing. I must remember that when I am experimenting in a match, the objective is still to compete for the point. Brian and I are a good team. He is very dependable and makes very few errors. I am quick and hit a lot of winners. We are learning what each other likes to do and say on the court. I let him know that I like to be complemented on good shots. He has been great about that. He told me that he likes to play at a certain rhythm and appreciates my reminders to get ready and pay attention. Getting on the same page with a partner is part of what makes doubles a great game. The synergy reduces individual pressure and really focuses on the team effort. Tomorrow morning...the quarters of the singles. Can’t wait. Journal Entry Sept. 8 The lack of flow continued with terrible rains today so getting around was tough. I was supposed to report to the tournament site at 10 but didn’t get there until 10:45. Needless to say, I wasn’t very relaxed. Took some time to stretch and breathe and definitely took control of my state. Then I was told that I would be playing two matches, both on indoor hardcourts at two different sites. It was to be a long day with the challenge of staying focused and calm. I was nervous about playing because both of my opponents were from California, were big serving hardcourt regulars, and were thrilled to play me off the grass where I would be a big favorite to win. First match my opponent was nervous at the start and I ran out a quick 6-1 first set. In the second he found his serve rhythm and held serve a few times to make it a close set that I won 6-3. I never felt the outcome was in doubt. My concern was playing on hard courts without training on them. I didn’t want to get hurt, which is easy to do on the hardcourts without proper training. Got through it with no problems. I then needed to kill three hours before my next match. Once again drove around in the rain for much too long, not by choice. Got to the second club for my match with plenty of time to stretch and prepare. My opponent was a top 10 ranked player with good experience. Again I played a clean first set and won 6-3. In the second he started to serve and volley very effectively and it was a battle of holding serve. With him serving at 2-3 I cranked it up and got to love 30. He didn’t fold and managed to hold. At 3-4 I knew I needed to crank up some more because his confidence was growing and mine was just so so. I got to 15-40, lost the next point, but broke with a pass at 30-40. After holding my serve routinely up until that game I was confident that I could serve out the match. As happens, he played a good first point to go up love 15, the first service game that I didn’t win the first point. Then I choked a volley and was down love 30. Uh oh. The difficulty of closing out a match was in my face. I took a lot of time before serving and came up with an ace. Managed to get back on track, stopped future tripping and won the next few points and the match. Into the quarters which will be played on Friday. Doubles quarters on Thursday afternoon. Journal Entry Sept. 7 My first event, the USTA National 55 Grass Court Championships, started on Tuesday at Rockaway Hunting Club yesterday. I was seeded #2 and, as a result, was given a bye for the first round. When I arrived at the club I was told that I might have to play on Tuesday even though I wasn’t scheduled because the tournament committee was concerned about upcoming weather. To deal with it, they wanted to get more matches in on the first day. For much of yesterday I was in limbo because my potential opponents had to play a match first. It turns out that they didn’t get on until 4:30 and, as a result, no chance for me to play. I was tense all day because I never knew for sure what I was doing. Should I practice? Should I watch other matches? Should I get away from the club and chill out? I ended up playing a few practice sets, fortunately, because I never got to play my match. Now I am a round behind and will probably have to play two matches today. It is not very fair but I have to just do it. To add to the challenge of playing two matches, it is pouring this morning, so, in spite of all of the preparation for grass court play, I will be playing indoors today. Regardless, I am hitting the ball really well, I am focused and I couldn’t be more ready to start. My first round opponent is a solid player who has had some success in the Nationals, including an upset win in his first round. If I should win, my second match will be against the #9 seed, who would be playing his first match of the day. Just one more challenge. Last year, everything fell into place smoothly. Just a reminder that when competing I must expect nothing and be ready for anything. I am working hard at being flexible and taking things as they come. Preparing for the Nationals, Sr. Davis Cup and the World Championships Journal Entry 9/2 Didn’t practice at all from Friday until today, Thursday. I had planned on kicking back a little, both at the gym and on the court, but I wasn’t planning on six days off from the grass courts. One practice partner canceled on me at the last moment. Another day I couldn’t find someone to play. Regardless, I was less up tight about not playing than I would have thought. I wasn’t feeling all that primed and ready to go because my first match was still a week away. No real sense of urgency. All of that changed today. I practiced today at Rockaway Hunt Club, the site of next week’s tournament. Last year I played great there, probably the most consistent week of good tennis, both singles and doubles, that I have played. Within the first few minutes I was back there again. My game, today, felt 50% better than it felt last week. I felt 50% better. I felt energized. I felt eager. I felt happy on the court. Two things had happened. Firstly, the layoff turned out to be just what I needed. My body felt rested and flexible. I had been working so hard that I was sore all the time. I guess my tennis gods were guiding me because I hadn’t really planned it. Secondly, the courts at Rockaway were totally different than the courts on which I had been practicing. I had been playing on courts that were so soft that the ball barely bounced. Of course, all grass courts play differently, but some have a higher bounce, like Wimbledon, and some have a lower bounce. Very few are as soft as those that I used. Rockaway, I realized today, has a perfect bounce for me. I have low compact backswings that work well while hitting on the rise. These courts play right into my zone. The result is that I felt totally connected to the court and the ball today. I realized that, for the last couple of weeks, I have been minimizing the fact that I had been winning sets from players that I thought would trounce me. I made excuses for their bad play because I didn’t think that I was playing all that well. It turns out that it wasn’t that at all. It was that playing well on the soft courts didn’t feel like good tennis to me. Turns out it was and that it also was the perfect preparation for the courts at Rockaway. It is funny how sometimes it feels like something is not working when it actually is working better than you knew it could. Can’t wait to get that turf under my sneakers again. Oh, one more little wrinkle. One more challenge on the bumpy road to playing matches. It turns out that the top four seeds in the tournament, next week, are the four players on the Austria Cup team. The four of us will be representing the USA in the World Team Championships in two weeks in Philadelphia, also on the grass. Who plays what position for the team (two singles and one doubles) will, in a large part, be determined by how we all do, individually, next week. Just when you think you can take a deep breath... Journal Entry August 28 This week of practice has been particularly interesting and fun because of the people who practiced with me. First I played a 35 year old teaching pro who is currently #1 in the East in the 35s. Next I played a 32 year old former Canadian Davis Cup player who played for UCLA. Next I reached into the cradle and worked out with a nationally ranked 16 year old. Finally, I played at legendary West Side TC in Forest Hills with the top 65 and over player in the country. A former American Davis Cup star and US Open semifinalist, he is preparing for Cup matches and the Worlds in his age group. What was interesting was that even though the younger players hit the ball better and were quicker, the veteran player was my toughest opponent. Not so much in terms of outcome and scores but in terms of being able to figure out what I was doing and how to counter it effectively. The experience to be able to stay mentally in a match by analyzing what is going on and what to do about it was the lesson that I relearned this week. Without realizing it, during my first three practices I figured out how to disarm my opponents by varying what I was doing. The funny thing is that I thought all three of the younger guys just didn’t play well against me because I split sets with all of them. I even felt a little guilty that I had an unfair advantage, having played on the grass so many times this season. In retrospect, after my last practice this week, I realized that I had played a game that made them uncomfortable and that I had a lot to do with how they played. This may seem obvious. To me, it wasn’t. I tend to think that when I am playing badly it is all about me. I will stay aware that many times my opponent may be making me play less than good (and I can do that to them.) Went to the Open quallies the other day and bumped into John James, an Aussie who, when he moved to New York was undefeated in my age group for 10 years. People often said that I was his nemesis because I had played him 11 times, often in finals. I never beat him. Never even took a set. How can you be a nemesis when you have no impact. Well, here it is many years later, John is not competing and I have had a lot of success. Regardless, I felt small next to him. I wanted to read him my resume. In competition you always want to end up with a win, even if it is on paper. I still hope that someday he comes back so that I can close that chapter. This week I will slow down a bit and go into more of a rest, relaxation and flexibility mode. Having overtrained and gone into the last few major tournaments with injuries, I am determined to start these events feeling good. So far, knock on wood, I have taken care and feel ok. I will still get out and hit on the grass a few times. I probably will do some drills that will address serves, first volleys, returns and passing shots. These are the shots that I want to be rock solid when I begin competing on September 7. By the time I am hitting those first balls at Rockaway Hunting Club in the Nationals I want my game to be complete. Journal Entry August 19 Over the last 10 days I have gotten in a lot of practice on some local grass courts. It is an exceptional tennis experience to play on it. It is lush and beautiful. The ambiance of the game is so different in that there is no sound when the ball bounces and no sound from running on the court. The whole game is very quiet so it seems almost heavenly. The game is different than on any other surface in that the points are very short, more often than not, four shots or less. This requires a different type of focus than long points. Here there is no breather. I need to be alert every moment because a minor mental vacation from the task at hand will usually end badly. Every shot must be executed or their is little chance of winning the point. Underplaying or overplaying a shot usually costly. I need to approach every point and each shot as if the fate of the universe depends on my effort and attention. On other courts you can recover from a so-so shot during a point. On the grass, down means out. At the same time, the grass can be forgiving...a bad volley doesn’t bounce up and earns the point. A mishit return can throw off a charging opponent. Any shot that I hit to my opponent can take a bad bounce. All in all, playing on the grass is a great challenge to my flexibility, adaptability, balance. Of course, the greatest challenge remains the same...to be focused more and more of the time in more and more big moments. I feel lucky that I have such a concrete experience in which I can test myself. It keeps me on track and disciplined as my preparation continues. I have noticed that I keep mentioning to people that playing for three straight weeks is going to be tough and that I need to be at my best at the end of 21 days if I am going to succeed big time in the World Championships during the third week. Mentioning it so frequently means that I am having negative thoughts about it, so starting today I will start focusing only on one day at a time. It is a relief to get rid of the burden of anticipating difficulty. Playing wise I am in good shape. I have a few playing goals that I plan to get worked out in the next two weeks. My serve has been erratic because I am fussing around with my timing in order to generate more power and depth. In another few days I will settle in on what my serve will be. I am also nailing down my service return plans...where to hit them with my backhand from both the deuce and ad sides. I am tempted to go down the line on the deuce side but keep hitting it wide. I will either get it together or stop trying to go there. Each day that I play I clean up another part of my game. Starting next week I will be playing 3 days a week on the grass. What a gift! August 1-8 Beginning Sept. 7, I will be on a tennis whirlwind that will find me playing 3 consecutive weeks on the grass against the best players in the country and the World. Week 1 will be a return to Rockaway Hunting Club in Cedarhurst where I will be defending singles and doubles titles for 2003. This is a first for me, never having won singles and doubles National titles in one tournament. On September 12, I will go to Philadelphia to check in as one of four players representing the USA in competition for the Austria Cup, representative of the World Team Champions for 55 and over players. On September 19, also in Philly, I will participate in the Veteran’s World Championships , playing singles and doubles. Whew! That is a lot of tennis. The biggest challenge for me in preparing is to balance working on my game and conditioning with getting enough rest and renewal to be fresh for the task. It is possible that I could play for 21 straight days, many singles and doubles. Matches will be tougher as the days go on. I need to remember that I have worked all year in improving my conditioning. I am prone to kicking everything way up in anticipation of a tournament and have hurt myself a couple of times. To this end I committed to myself that beginning August 1 and continuing to the end of this run that I would meditate and stretch daily. Sure, I know I should do it every day, but I get lazy. Now, though, my reason for doing these daily tasks is more engaging and that will help me with the discipline. Over the last couple of weeks I have started to play some competitive matches to get the juices flowing. Having lost a couple of doubles matches that I might have won, I got charged up even more than I expected. My love of winning in competition got out of hand last week when I played a 20 year old Division 1 college player. He beat me like a drum and I was really annoyed. Everyone I spoke to during the day tried to remind me to have perspective. I wasn’t upset that I lost...I was upset that I lost the way I did. I was so eager for a win that I didn’t see what I needed to do to be more competitive. I was too result oriented and that is what bothered me. As usual this is a wonderful reminder to me about what to pay attention to. I need to focus on me and my game. How I will execute. Where I will hit the ball. Outcomes will always follow. Played on the grass twice this week. The first time served as a reminder about several important aspects of being tough in grass court matches. The points are very short. There is no opportunity to work your way, mentally, into the point. You lose concentration for a moment and the point is over. Each service point and return point must be started with the highest level of focus. Doing that over and over again makes for a very difficult opponent. I plan on being one of those. Right now my plan is to continue going to the gym three times a week to work on my strength and cardio. I will play two or three times a week. I hope to get practice opponents who can beat me up to help me be strong for the road ahead. Sitting quietly and stretching each day will be my mainstay so that I will start these tournaments in a calm and relaxed state. My tennis will be fine. The 2004 National Indoor Championships January, 2004 January arrives and gives us the opportunity to look ahead. It is a good time to think what you have accomplished since moving indoors. Have you made progress in your game since September? What were some of the parts of competing that you wanted to improve? Have you achieved some of your goals? Now is also a time to think about where you want to be with your game at the end of the indoor season. You can reset your goals for the next few months. Doing this will help you rededicate yourself to the day to day work necessary, whether it be on or off the court. I have made it a habit to set goals frequently and find that, if I really care about my goals, I am drawn to the work that I need to do. Two of my tennis goals for 2004 are result oriented. This September, the Senior Davis Cup and World Championships will be played in Philadelphia on grass courts. If I make the Cup team, my goal is to play in Cup matches freer of the tension that I have played with in the past. I want to bring my true A game to the Cup matches. For the World Championships, my goal is to win it. I can close my eyes and imagine how I will feel when I accomplish these two goals. I will visualize succeeding many times over the next months. It would be nice if that is all it would take. The reality is that these goals provide me with targets that make clear some of the process goals that I will need to achieve to be able to improve my chances of success. GOALS be better conditioned than I have ever been by increasing my strength, speed, quickness, endurance and flexibility increase my awareness that close games and matches are often a function of my opponent playing well, not my inadequate play increase my commitment to loving the battle more than the result improve my ability to recognize my opponents strengths and weaknesses and to use this info effectively during matches make fewer unforced errors when leading in games and sets get closer to the net for first volleys improve my forehand topspin lob improve my running backhand passing options be more forgiving of my opponent’s behavior I have started working on the first of these by joining a gym and working out there 3-4 times a week since early November. Over the next several months I will adjust my workout to be specific to my conditioning needs for grass court tennis. The remaining goals are mostly on court work, many of them in tournaments. To that end I have decided to play more local tournaments than I have in the past couple of years. I usually start tournaments in March. This year...I am starting next weekend. I am sure that my list of process goals will expand and become more specific as I travel on the path that I have set out for myself. Am I psyched. You can bet I am. Can’t wait to get to work. May 8 The Day After the Tournament Ends Today I feel like I am on vacation. I have been working on my game with this tournament in mind since mid March. I have practiced hard and taken care of myself with extra discipline. I have watched my diet, worked out many times in the gym, stretched, played hard, and charted my progress. For today it feels like the work is over. And then I remember that this tournament was just a step along the way. My goals remain the same as they were at the beginning of the year... to bring my “A” game to Senior Davis Cup and to win the World Championships in September. This week’s experiences in Boise have brought me closer to what I am shooting for this year. I reflect back on my process goals that I wrote in January. Some I have accomplished. Some I neglected. I am a better player today than I was in January. I have made important steps on this year’s journey. I have made progress. So today is a vacation. Maybe I will take off this whole week from this work on my game. But the work is not over. I hope it will never end. By next week I will set new goals and get back to it. I will keep the momentum going...always putting one foot in front of the other. The ultimate goal for me is to continue to improve...to always be a little better today than I was yesterday. Every tournament ends with a new beginning. May 7 Long day of waiting around to get out to play the doubles semis. Always tough to do after going out of the singles early. Neither Charlie nor I were able to get our A games going. We fell behind early in the first set, down 5-2, we made a little run to get to 5-4 but couldn’t break our opponents so they won the first set 6-4. The second set was a similar experience. I was a little flat, possibly a result of feeling the disappointment of being out of the singles. I had watched my buddies who were playing to get to the finals and felt a bit down. I did manage to fire up a bit in the second set but it was too little too late. I have gotten used to playing on the last day in these tournaments so it was a little weird. It is a reminder for me that none of this just comes to me. Every time I play a National event I must be prepared for any outcome. Still, all in all, I am blessed to be able to compete year in and year out and to continue to grow the relationships with the other players. I have been playing against these guys for twenty years and we share a terrific bond. We all look forward to seeing each other on the courts later in the year. Win or lose I would not trade these experiences for anything. Every tournament offers me the opportunity to look inside myself, to see how I have grown and to present me with new paths to travel in my personal development. I am proud to be a part of a group of people that keeps putting it on the line. I may have some more thoughts to write in the next day or two but, if not, thanks to all of you for sharing the time with me, for supporting me and for all of your input. Next up will be the USA vs. Canada on the grass at Piping Rock CC in early June. May 6 I will begin by writing that I lost in singles today to Steve Cornell, former UCLA player, 1-6, 6-4, 6-3. The details: three hours of extraordinary competition against a true warrior. I had him down and out with a break point to go up 5-3 in the second. I had a forehand pass that just caught the top of the net and dropped back to my side. He played tough as nails from that point on. I was behind on my serve games throughout the third set and kept escaping but could not do it every time. It was one of the most memorable matches I have ever played. The first set may have been the best set that I have ever played this deep into a National tournament. I played with courage throughout against a player that was at the net, in my face, every single point. He attacked my backhand without mercy time and time again. I took the challenge and succeeded on every level but the final score. I left nothing of myself on the court. Interesting thing was that I had been so concerned about my hamstring all week and felt that it would inhibit my play, especially against a player like this. However, yesterday I made the commitment to give it my all, regardless, and when I woke up today my leg felt fine. It was never a factor. I must admit that, during the third set, as I was struggling , I started to pull on the wrap on my leg and started to pull up at the end of a run, as if my leg was bothering me. It wasn’t, but I was falling into that old trap of using an injury as an excuse for missing shots. When we do that, it is a way to make the loss hurt less. Excuses tend to do that. Happily, I noticed that I was doing that and had a firm talk with myself and refused to go there any more. Steve just beat me. I can take nothing away from him and nothing away from my personal effort. I learned, in this match, that I still need to work on my backhand passing shot, that I must find a way to practice against all types of players (in this case, a player who is always at the net) even if they are hard to find and that when the opportunity is there in big moments to go for it. No fear of missing. To play it safe in a big moment is equal to giving the point away. All in all a great day on the courts. By the way, we won in doubles to advance to the semis. Now, into the hot tub to rest these weary muscles and to begin to prepare for tomorrow’s doubles. I love this game! May 5 The first couple of days of a tournament is the time that all of the players reconnect with each other, see what is happening in each other’s lives. The real posturing starts later with stories of recent past successes, new game strengths, vulnerabilities that have been eliminated and presentation of injuries. This is all done in an attempt to set up potential future opponents. As each of us hits the practice courts we watch those people that we anticipate hitting up against. This lasts for a few moments for me in that I realize early on that all of this thinking about other players just creates more anxiety. I just start to get into seeing how I am hitting. I set my goals very high in practice. I want to hit every single shot with purpose and success of execution. This puts strong positive pressure on me and gets me ready for the matches when every shot is important. No more fooling around. No more cute shots. No more showing off. The closer I get to my first match, the more and more intense I get. I have moments when I get caught up in the fact that many of the other players are watching me. As the #2 player in the country and #2 seed in the tournament, I am respected. I am also a marked man. I am somebody that everybody wants to take down. Went out to play my match today. Moved cautiously to protect the hamstring. Bad idea. If I am not moving aggressively I am half the player I can be. I was overly focused on not hurting myself. Result was ok. I won 6-3, 6-2 but did not play my game. I realized after the match that I can hold nothing back tomorrow when I play a fine player. I lost to him in the finals of the National 50 Indoor Championships in 2000. No more injury prevention. Just go 100% and see how it holds up. I am looking forward to the match. I am not concerned about winning or losing. I just want to play like a warrior. Winning or losing will change nothing about how I feel about myself as a player. My doubles partner, Charlie Hoevelar, is the guy I won the National Grass with last September. Not in the singles, he arrived today and we went out to play a practice match against #1 Brian Cheney and his partner. These guys are legends in the seniors. I look at them and still question whether I belong on the court with them. My game is at least as good as theirs but my belief is not. It is still part of my work to see myself as others see me in tennis. They see me as one of the best in the age group. I still feel like I am trying to become a member of their club. I wonder when my perspective will be based, not on the past but on the present. As long as I am unable to see the truth of who I am as a player, it can undermine my play when I go up against these top players. May 2 Finished up training this week and am on my way to Boise. Got in some final work on my new backhand and worked hard on my patience in developing the points. Feeling so strong, I am prone to hitting too hard. It is important that I leave the ego gratification of power hitting at home. I will remember that I can get to every ball and that, as long as I keep it deep, I will stay out of trouble. The opportunities to attack will present themselves. Had a bit of a scare in my last practice session with Phil on Thursday. At the end of our session, an hour and a half in, I felt something in my hamstring pull. Within two hours I felt doubtful for the tournament. Woke up on Friday and continued to feel doubtful. I had decided, last year, when I went to play the 50 Indoors with a shaky back, that I would not kid myself into thinking I can compete with the best if I am not completely fit. This got me into action and I treated the hamstring aggressively. Within 24 hours I was feeling much better and am, right now, on the plane. My first match won’t be until Wednesday, so I will have to balance playing and resting. Better for me to be fit with less on court practice than the other way around. My goal is to continue to focus on my game. It isn’t about the other players. They cannot be in the equation. I feel that I have everything that I need. It now comes down to whether or not I can keep my mind on the simple execution...of my shots and strategies. I know what I want to do. I know how I want to play. I know what I want to look like. I know how I wan t to feel. Boise, here I come. 4-23-04 Practicing was fun this week. Tuesday I got a great hit in with a top 40s player who usually beats me. He was a little off and I managed to get the best of him. I am noticing that I am making more mid match adjustments, which was one of the goals I set for myself back in January. I have been so focused on my backhand goal that I forgot about some of my others, including this one. I didn’t follow one of the rules of goal setting...to keep reminding myself what is on my goal list. Regardless, I was happy that I started to make the adjustments and will recommit to reading my goals every day. It makes a huge difference. Getting closer to the tournament I try to start playing more sets so I added a practice session on Wednesday with the Jamaican pro that I played with last week. Learned an important lesson. Don’t assume that a Jamaican pro will remember the details, like where we are playing. He didn’t show up. Instead I hit with one of the top juniors in the Robbie Wagner Tournament program. Great workout hitting against somebody who blasted every ball and ran down just about anything that I hit. My confidence was not affected by having player 44 years younger than me dealing with my shots. She is one of the best in the East and highly ranked in the country. I don’t remember 12 year old girls playing like this when I was a kid. I hit a little bump in the process road and some result thinking kicked in this week when I saw the draw for the tournament. Not only is it very deep with talent but, also, the top player in the country decided to play. This bumped me out of the top seeded position to #2 and I started to get focused on him and the other strong players. This has been a trap for me in the past. Will need to push myself to keep thinking about getting my own game to be where it needs to be with little or no concern about how it will all play out in the end. Later in the week I did some specific training to deal with the strong chance that I will meet some opponents who will serve and volley 100% of the time on their serve and chip and come in on my serve. I prefer to get my teeth into the point with two or three shots. This other style challenges me to react quickly with predetermined strategies. I called Bob Malinow, who plays this style well. For more than an hour he kept putting me in the uncomfortable situation of rushing. I am sure that the specific training will pay off. Also got my butt kicked by Russell Heier 62 60. I seem to require a major butt kicking before each event. It helps my humility and keeps me from becoming overconfident. I learned to be more patient on my down the lines. I also noticed that I am hitting with too much concern about outcome on my mid court attacking shots. I need to keep them in the flow of the point and make sure I am looking to end the point with a volley. I am starting to wind down my gym work and putting more energy into stretching. Still new to this weight work I am uncertain about whether or not to keep lifting weights. Each trainer I talk to has a different opinion. I will need to do more research in this area for the future. 4/14 Journal Entry I feel my engine revving higher and higher each day that I work on my game. Had a great workout with Phil, a strong 25 year old pro who helped warm me up for my last few National events. He hits the ball very big and is much faster than any of my regular opponents. This is great for me. I am under constant time pressure when setting up for my shots and if I hit what I think is a winner, he runs it down, so I am challenged to stay alert and to hit more than one good shot in a point. We played three sets on Tuesday and, even though I grabbed one set, he beat me up pretty badly. I was not very good. Thinking way too much about my “new backhand.” There I was playing a player that rushes me on most of my shots and I am trying to hit a new shot all the time. I was making errors galore and missing most service returns. I did stay determined. I was persistent. I didn’t give up on it. That is my typical way. However, when reviewing my play, later in the day, I started to question what I was doing, trying to develop a new shot at a time that I am getting ready for a major tournament. Those self-doubts started to infect my mind...what if I can’t do it? What if I can’t refind my game? Maybe I should just go with what I’ve got. Do I really need to make a change? Maybe I should put it off until after the tournament. I was at a critical point and needed to take a stand with myself. I knew these doubts were just a way for me to resist change. Asked some of my students what I should do...abandon the work or just commit to the change and take whatever results happen? Some encouraged me to commit and accept the results. Then, though, I would not be facing the truth of what I want in playing. I want to win also. I don’t want to take losses to players I think I can beat. I don’t want my ranking to drop. Yet I also want to make the change. I will be a better player for it. When I asked myself how I could have both, the solution came instantly...be flexible. Use the new backhand in those situations that I feel it will help me, on the passing shot and on the cross court opening. Stop doing it on every single ball. I don’t need it as a basic groundstroke. With this awareness, I dragged Phil out the following day and the outcome was different. I had the strength of the old with the new mixing in at appropriate times. I played great. The same thing happened the following day when I practiced with a former Jamaican Davis Cup player. How pumped am I! When involved in working on my game and having a clear picture of my goal, it is like building a model car or putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Each day that I come back to it I have a slightly different perspective and greater clarity. I start to see more parts that are related to the whole, in this case, playing my game as well as I can, today, with less and less clutter each day. At this rate I feel confident that my game will be in top form two weeks. If anything I must stay conscious that I have a couple of more weeks of preparing. Although I always like to play my best, I need to pace myself so that I don’t leave my best stuff on the practice court. Can’t wait to see how this week goes. 4-07-04 It has been a somewhat frustrating week or so in my preparation. Eager to get on the court and practice my game, I arranged for a few practice sessions a week. I want to get to work on my returns and my backhand passing shots. I want to get my teeth into some sets to start feeling the intensity and fun of competing for every point. Life, though, has a way of interfering with the best laid plans. One of my practice partners didn’t reserve a court so we only got a half hour in. Well, I worked on being flexible and hit the gym instead. I was even more ready to play yesterday but, no way, my opponent was sick. Again, the gym. I feel that I need about six good practice matches so I have time. First match is four weeks from today. Today I asked Robbie Wagner, one of the top junior coaches, to take a look at what is going on with my backhand pass. I had been getting a little heady about it and needed some objective feedback. I am pretty coachable except for the part of giving over control. Knowing that I would be able to walk away with something valuable, I kept my mouth shut about what I thought and let Robbie do his thing. He made two suggestions, one about my preparation and one about my movement to the ball, that were right on the money. He worked me very hard for about an hour and I felt good. It will take some serious mental effort to make these changes over the next few days and weeks. I will be using visualization techniques to help speed the process, starting today, in addition to working extra hard on court. For all of you who I coach, there will be another week of working on your cross court forehand approach shots. :) March 30, 2004 Started the on court phase of practice today. I have five full weeks before the National Indoors. My playing goals are still forming and each time I play they will become clearer. On my definite to do list are: being clear about why I am playing...to love the challenges and to be eager to compete; serving tougher...focusing on each and every serve so that it is always a weapon; attacking second serves with my forehand and approaching behind it; going for the flat cross court backhand to keep pressure on, rather than slicing it and resetting the point; to give my all, every single point, no matter what the score. Played against Russ Heier, a top Eastern 40s player, on the hardcourts today. He was my first hardcourt practice opponent two years ago, the year that I won this tournament. I hadn’t thought of it until now but maybe it is a sign of what may come. I was pleased with my play for the most part and was able to see some stuff that I need to clean up. I felt that I was moving very well and feel stronger than I have ever felt. The work in the gym for the last four months is noticeable. I served strongly...very good spins serve up the middle on the deuce side and flat up the middle on the ad side. I want to work more on getting the deuce serve out wide. I was aced a bunch and didn’t make quite a few service returns. Have to raise my level of physical and mental alertness on service returns. I was concerned that I had put off playing for so long and that I might have lost some of the fever. Not an issue. I had a great time playing today. I felt good. I was interested. I was totally engaged. It continues to be a treat to work on my game. Back to top 2003 National Indoor Championships One month before the National 50 Indoors First time out in a long time where I was playing with a goal...to get ready for the National Indoors, four weeks away. I hit with Ricky Becker a former Stamford player who is in his 20s. I hit great, especially in the warmup. Even during the points I was really on the ball, making good contact and taking an aggressive swing a the ball. Sounds pretty good but I was planless. I had no idea what I was doing with any ball. There was no purpose to my shot selections and the score reflected it. I won one game. To me it was a perfect first day of preparation. I now know exactly where I am in the journey towards focus. I have four weeks to narrow my attention to that of a laser beam. Four weeks to get mentally clear about how I want to develop my points, to find an emotional state that is just right for competition, and to shape how I am going to think about winning and losing. While marinating all of this stuff over the next few weeks I also need to get my body to be strong so I have been in the gym most days for the last week. My body is hurting from pushing it but I know I am getting stronger. The week before the tournament I will cut back and let my body rest to get ready for the work in front of me. DAY 2 A couple of days later, I play with Malinow who is getting ready for the 45 Indoors in Salt Lake. My first time on a hard court in a year. He is a little dinged up so isn’t running hard. Regardless I was feeling fine on the fast surface. I am hitting very big off both sides, using my hips more than ever for a quick set up and additional pace. If I can stay alert with my footwork I will be able to execute like this throughout. I will be tough to win a point against. I served very strongly. I have discovered a feeling of loading up before going up to the ball as well as finding a power zone through which I can do a lot with the racket head. I enjoyed serve and volley. I need to get closer in for the first and farther in for the second. Also, need to start hitting overheads and passing shots. Day 3 Played Malinow again. He played better. I need to take pace off the ball. I am wanting to hit too hard all the time. I have been executing a new shot of late, the topspin lob. I do it on the forehand when I have time to pass. Sometimes it goes very short, but I think it is ready for matches. I think I hit my first one ever last year in this tournament. Day 4 Phil was my practice partner last year and he has a good game to play against. His is 22, very fast, big serve and big forehand. He has a couple of areas I can attack so I can play points against him. He is a good push for me and I will lose to him a bunch while preparing. Today my focus was on finding a return zone... a way to play against a big server. I tried staying farther back for a while, then worked on coming right out to the serve and taking in on the rise. Both were effective in putting the ball into a good place on the court. I need to have a plan for the next shot. Am I coming in behind returns? Am I staying back? Today I remembered that I can run down any shot that anybody hits and that I don’t need to rush my point because of that. This is major for me. Three and one half weeks to tournament Worked out with 3 strong juniors on the hard courts. Did a variety of point drills for two hours non stop. Great workout. Their balls come with so much pace that I was often late and scrambling. My pace didn’t get them in any trouble at all unless I could hit three or four pressure building shots. They were also very quick. The ball in the 50s is going to moving pretty slowly for me if I keep playing with the kids. Everybody I am practicing with hits the ball big. It isn’t great for my confidence but I have it in perspective. One of the coaches who was watching pointed out a couple of valuable things: I don’t try to take my first volley from as high as I can, if I were to move to it more aggressively. And when I return with my forehand from the deuce side I take the ball too late, off a big serve, to get it back up the line. Stay conscious of hitting the ball early on the forehand return. I am working my body really hard at the gym and am counting on being able to recover from the work beginning one week before the tournament. I am feeling very psyched and am counting down. I want to be playing really good tennis when I arrive there. I want to feel confidence in my being able to hit any shot on demand, whether it be in practice or at match point up or down. Two weeks to go This was a tough week for me in my preparation. First of all I am still too focused on the tournament rather than my game. I need to make a stronger effort at changing this mindset. The first step is to make the decision that winning is going to be much more based on how I am feeling about my game than on my results. Results, as usual, will just have to follow. They will regardless so I may as well disconnect from them. The second part of my tough week is that I never got to feel that I was playing the style of tennis on the hard courts that I want to play. This happened because I have been practicing with much younger, very hard hitting players. This may turn out to be helpful in terms of dealing with the shots of my age group players but I still needed to get more of my kinds of points going. So it felt like a week that wasn’t all that productive. I did do some good mental spin work after losing a golden set to Ricky Becker, the former #6 player for Stamford. I actually played pretty well but, obviously was never able to hurt him or hurry him. I still saw it as a positive in recognizing how it is always a good idea to try something different when things aren’t working. I also saw how far from focus I really was and this was a good wakeup call. The week before the tournament: Well, I have found my game. Played several times this week and have gotten clear that I am going to Chicago to run for everything, to hit the right shots at the right time, to avoid the silly selections that feel so right as I hit them, but so wrong as they land long, wide or in the net, to go for my shot when I get the invitation, to stay relaxed and have fun while playing and, mostly, to feel satisfied with who and what I put out there on the court. The day before matches begin: Got to Midtown Tennis Club in Chicago today to do my final preparation for the upcoming week. It is both exciting and pressure building to be the defending champ and #1 seed. Exciting in that I feel very special in this small universe. Pressure building in that I am a marked man in the draw. That is about all the time I have for thinking about stuff like that. I hit with a couple of the favorites in the tournament and felt good. I found that the courts are playing pretty slowly compared to the ones I had practiced on back home. I feel secure and confident. It is a special experience to be at a National. I spend most of my time thinking about my game, my opponent, how I am feeling, what I want to be feeling and doing whatever it takes to get in the optimal state to play at my best. For me, this is when I am physically relaxed and mentally clear on what I am trying to accomplish. Emotionally I am at my best when I am eager, happy and little concerned. To be able to put all of my energy into this is unique. I am struggling with balancing the importance of this tournament relative to the war. I keep telling myself that it is ok for me to be playing while other American brothers and sisters are competing with real bullets. Tomorrow morning I start off playing doubles. I look forward to hitting the first ball and getting started. Opening Day The energy around a club on the first day of a National is usually very high. Players who haven’t seen each other for a while are busy sharing stories of matches, ranking hassles and, of course, injuries. Everybody has a story. This National is a little different because, in addition to the Men’s 50s, the Women’s 40s and 50s are here. Also at stake are National Mixed Doubles Championships in both age groups. Each person is permitted to play in two events. I am passing on the Mixed. Several people that I have coached over the internet but never met are here. It is interesting to meet them in person. They are eager to be coached this week but I need to keep my focus on my own game so I am not so receptive to their questions. In the end, though, I end up doing what I do, which is coach. Started the doubles today. My partner is David Nash of Minnesota. He is currently #1 in the country in the 55s, the age group that I just entered. We one 6-0 6-0. Nash is 6’7” tall and covers all the overheads letting me roam around the net. We are a fine team. Last year Nash and I played here together and played into the semis. Knowing before the match that Nash could not play the next day if we won, we decided, before going on the court, that if we got to match point we would default and let our opponents advance to the finals. Sure enough we were leading one set to love and 5-4, 40 love and we shook hands. Tomorrow at 1PM we play the team that we defaulted to. Those guys will not be eager to prove that last year was a fluke. They are very good and are seeded #2 based on their advancement to last year’s final. I mentioned to both of them that we expected to start the match where we finished off last year...that Nash and I were just on a bathroom break. They didn’t think that was very funny. They have no interest in revisiting the past. Singles begins tomorrow at 8AM. My focus is decent but not where I want it to be . Tonight I will visualize myself playing with good energy, intense focus and positive emotion. I will also clarify what my game plan will be. My strategy will be what it usually is. To run for everything so that my opponents feel that they have nowhere to go. To hit the ball to the parts of the court that keep me in control. To go for my shots when the opportunity is presented to me. I will continue to play within myself and to be patient during the points. Technically I will plan on using my new knowledge of loading up with my hips and legs on my groundstrokes. On my serve, which can be a big factor in my matches, I will be focusing on my timing, making sure that I am exploding up to the ball. Last Day and beginning of the next competition Lost my singles 4-6, 7-5, 6-4. Got a pretty decent warmup and was feeling ok when I got on the court. Unfortunately I was faced with a battle that I was not up to winning. The battle was one of playing through an injury. Due to a pretty deep muscle pull in my lower back I was unable to explode to the ball. My first step in any direction was weak. There were many balls that I didn’t even attempt to run to. It was very frustrating. Movement is one of my strongest assets as a player. I kept trying to push myself into the match but my frustration interfered too much. While playing I felt disappointed. I thought too much about what I couldn’t do rather than focusing on what I could do. It isn’t necessarily the case that I would have won the match because my opponent was a fine player who might have still hung on for victory. I take nothing away from him. No, it was a matter of me taking control of my thoughts when my thinking was counterproductive. In some ways it was a continuation of what happened in the doubles...the need to be accountable to myself when I am aware of what I ought to be doing. I knew that, being limited, I needed to attack on service return. I thought about it. I knew it was the right move. But it is not my style. It is out of my comfort zone. But it was also my best chance to succeed in the match. The lesson for me...be willing to adapt when the situation demands, even if it means doing some things that are uncomfortable. I hope to never have to play a match where my movement is limited, but I will plan for it and make a commitment to myself to act on the plan I come up with. This will not happen again! Thanks to all for your comments, feedback and support. The Morning After The morning after a loss in a big tournament is always a little strange. My hope was to be playing to the end of the event. All of a sudden it is over. The work. The preparation. The anticipation. The hopes. It feels so final. A loss such as this one, where I didn’t feel that I accessed the warrior within me, leaves me with a lingering sense of disappointment. I wake up and think that maybe the magic and excitement of competing is over. Maybe I will take the year off. The great tennis champion, Bill Tilden, wrote that there were many nights he went to sleep and burned his (wooden) rackets in disgust, determined to never play again, only to be on the courts the next morning, trying to improve. I, too, will be looking to grow my game again starting on Monday. In further reflection I have a sense that my motivation for playing this event was not fully formed in my mind. What I mean is that, from the beginning I was coming here to “defend my title.” My goal was to defend my title. Although I thought about playing good tennis, I never made it my north star. With my goal being to “defend,” all I needed to do was show up. It was even okay for me to show up when I was less that 100% physically. Today, as I feel my disappointment, I realize that if I had wanted to have a chance to succeed in this tournament, to play great tennis, to have a chance to win and to feel self satisfied no matter what the outcome, then I needed to be 100%. The funny thing is that I achieved my goal. I defended. What will I do differently next time I have this opportunity? I will make my goal stronger and clearer...to defend successfully. Back to top 2003 Fred Perry Cup THE JOURNEY BEGINS...May, 2003 I have started to fire up my competitive rockets for a new journey that will conclude in Germany in August. At that time I will,again, be representing the USA in our team quest to win the Fred Perry Cup. This 50 and over event is called the Veteran’s International Team Championships, a/k/a the Senior Davis Cup. This will be my third time on the team in the 5 years I have been eligible. The first year, as a rookie, I played with stars in my eyes. I couldn’t believe I was on the team. Last year, I knew I belonged but never really got my confidence until the last couple of days of playing. This year I will be the veteran member of the team, the only one of the four players who has competed for the Cup. The USTA has appointed me captain of the squad. I will no longer have the luxury of focusing on my preparation and play. I will have to be a leader, make lineup decisions and be on court to coach the rest of the squad during their matches. It is an honor to be put in the position of being the team leader. It also presents new and different challenges. I will need to be more focused than ever if I am to succeed both on and off the court. I call it a journey because I have quite a ways to go from the level of my last play to where I have to get to in order to be able to compete against the very best senior players in the world. My loss in the round of 16 at the National 50 Indoors in March marked one of my weakest efforts in several years. I went into the event with unremarkable goals and a body that wasn’t ready to compete. I was overconfident that my play of the prior year would carry me through against a field that I underestimated. My play was unisnspired and my disappointment wasn’t deep enough. I started thinking that I might have had enough of all of this competition. After all, it has been twenty years since I started to compete. I considered that my mind/body couldn’t take it anymore. I thought that the thrill of competition had worn off. Even while thinking this way after the Indoors I felt pretty certain that I was just defending against the feeling of disappointment that I had not really given it the right effort. Fortunately I got a call to play for the Eastern 45 and over team in an intersectional match. Not only was I asked to play, but I was told I would be playing #1. This would probably be my last 45 and over competition. I had three weeks to get ready. During the three weeks my interest came and went. I didn’t know if I really had it in me to do the work. I started to question whether I should go to Germany. It is amazing what self doubt can do. A couple of my Eastern tennis playing buddies, teammates on the 45 team encouraged me to get out and practice. I felt signs of the spark and interest. When I would feel the spark I would be playing pretty well. If not, well, I was kind of lifeless and uninterested. ATLANTIC COAST 45 CUP...May 17-18 Happy to be playing and seeing a lot of the buddies that I have met over the years of playing team matches. Many of us have played against each other since the 35s. Our opening match was against the Middle Atlantic team. I had played and beaten their #1 a couple of times, so I was pretty confident that I would win. Many of the players were congratulating me on my year of playing. My confidence and their comments all went to my head. I figured that all I needed to do in my match was keep the ball in play and I would find a way to win. Unfortunately, my oppenent had the same idea and was better at just playing steady than me. I am at my best when my feet are moving all the time in between shots and I am looking to be aggressive at the first opportunity. On this day, though, I was playing flat footed and rarely looked for the chance to attack. I kept playing a losing strategy and my opponent was rock solid. He got the win, 5-7, 6-2 ,6-2. I definitely was upset with my play and, that night, determined that the next day, when we would be playing the finals against New England, I would bring my intensity and game to the court. I walked on the court on Sunday ready to battle. My energy was great. My interest was high. My intent was to compete for every point. I was clearly on my way to finding my game. I started out a bit too complacently, sensing that I could outlast my opponent, but at 2-2 of the first set I realized that I was close to falling into my pattern of my previous match. I rededicated myself to moving my feet and looking to attack at the first opportunity and I won easily 6-2, 6-2. I was pleased with the way in which I straightened myself out. My match was just a small part of the day. The team needed to win four of the seven matches to win the Cup. Our #2 singles finished with a win just before me, so we were up 2-0. Our #3 and #4 singles were in battles and we dropped #1 doubles. It was close. Happily, #4 pulled his out and #2 doubles came through. Victory to the Eastern team. It is special to play tennis on a team. It is rare that we truly get to pull for the same people that we are often competing against. Each of us got to drink champagne from a beautiful Cup and our names will be engraved on the Cup and will remain there forever. It was especially nice for me being that it is probably the last time I will play on this team. GETTING DOWN TO WORK...The week of May 19 So I am feeling more motivated. Feeling that excitement of working on my game. Looking at the parts. Finding newness in my mental approach. I am clear that I want to feel the level of confidence in my shots, movement and strategy that makes the game so much of a focused experience. I will be working on keeping my shots really deep, on locking in my serving rituals, on opening the court up with my forehand (this is new for this year), on attacking on service return and on playing courageously, unafraid to make an error when being aggressive. Just writing about it fires me up. I practiced with one of the 45ers today and found that I was playing differently that during the Cup matches. Instead of trying to win, I was working on my game. Those parts that I had planned to work on were right there on the court with me. I wasn’t always executing (how could I be with so little time playing over the last few months) but I was in the hunt. When I missed, my correction would relate to the tasks that I had set for my self. I felt positive. As the playing session when on, I saw some of the early fruits. I lost the first set but toughed out the second by winning me serve after being down love 40. This is always something that gets me incredibly juiced. I start to believe in myself. Today it was a turning point. I started to adjust my tactics to break down my opponent and I sprinted to the end of the practice session by winning the last five games of the second set. It was enough. I have accomplished step #1....I can’t wait to get out there again. I pulled out the Eastern tournament book and selected three tournaments to play in the month of June. Hey, Fred Perry Cup, look out. Here I come to bring you back to the USA. One Month into Preparation...The Week of June 16 Well I have been steadily progressing in my preparation for the Perry Cup. Sometimes I think I may be overly focused on an event that is so far away although that attitude usually has me looking at an event that smacks me right in the face before I know it. I find that you can never start thinking about what you want and where you are going too soon or too much. Having this much time allows me to add parts to my training slowly, so as to avoid the frustrations and injuries that are often a result of cramming. the flip side is that on many days I feel that I am not doing enough or I am not progressing fast enough. It certainly is a delicate balance. If I wait too long I put too much pressure on myself or lose motivation. If I start too soon I question whether I am working hard enough. As is often the case with me, I think way too much about future results during my preparation phase, ie winning the Cup, rather than processing those things that I need to be doing well both on and off the court. By writing I am able to see these weaknesses in my approach and to make the necessary adjustments. In a practice match the other day against a very steady 45 and over player, I got very frustrated with myself for making silly shot selections. I started thinking, “I can’t be hitting shots like that if I am going to win in August.” It didn’t help and I ran a streak of very bad points. In fact I lost 13 points in a row at one stretch. Part of finding my game is facing the truth about myself. Recognizing that I am thinking too much about the future results is the first thing that sets me on the right path. It has often been said that we learn much more from our failures than our successes. That being the case I am fortunate to see my weaknesses at this point in getting ready. One of my competitive challenges is to time this whole experience just right...to be involved in the process of playing good tennis and to be free of concerns about results by the time I get to Germany. I feel certain that I will find that timing. My overall game is progressing nicely. Physically I am feeling more and more fit every day. Each day I do something, whether it be practice, bike, treadmill or specific movement exercises. I am not compulsive about it. I just do a little each day. This keeps my mind tracked in on my goals. The Cup is never that far from my consciousness. I am playing well, although I may not be challenged quite enough in my practice sessions. I need to play more people who will beat up on me. If not, I will develop a false sense of confidence, something that will trip me up when I meet a very tough opponent. I am playing a 55 and over tournament this weekend with a couple of 45 and over events coming up in the next month or so. The 45s should be a good challenge for seeing how far I have progressed since the team match I played a month ago. One thing is for certain...I am really into it. Week of June 26 I feel like I am really on track this week. Some obvious playing ideas have crystalized. I am now sure that running every ball down and getting each shot back deep is the way I need to keep playing. My overexcitement about getting back to competing manifested itself in overexcited shots. I had been trying to do way too much with each shot. I am clear, at least for right now, that I can use my speed to play patiently and to look for opportuinities. No need to force them. If they aren’t there I can always postpone and look for another chance. This is a very freeing experienceon the court. Eliminating the fear of the other player being able to win the point at will takes a lot of pressure off. Over the next few weeks I can work on developing specific weapons to use in specific situations. I will start to work on the patterns that will force my opponent to play into these situations. Today when playing, each shot I hit had a purpose...to keep my opponent from winning the point, to get me out of trouble, to develop the point, to apply pressure and, ultimately, to give me a chance to end a point. I made a big step this week on my serve, as well. I have slowed down before tossing. I am taking the time to visualize the serve I am about to hit. I am staying ritualistic, always bouncing the ball the same number of times, taking a deep breath before initiating the toss and looking into the court the same way each time. There is a feeling of certainty about what I am doing when I prepare the same way each time. The more I do something the same way, the better I get at it. Of course, I have to make sure I am doing somethng that works for what I want. July 13 One Month to Go Have really kicked into gear, doing on court training five days this past week. My motivation is very high, so doing the work comes easily. It doesn’t matter if it is hot, humid or raining. I look forward to my game developing a little bit each day. I was inspired by seeing Roger Federer playing such relaxed tennis during the second week of Wimbledon. He, as many great athletes, provided us with a glimpse of what they do that contribute to extraordinary levels of play. When he completed his run to win the title he said that for the last two years, since he beat Sampras at Wimbledon, he has been struggling to live up to his own and other people’s expectations that he was the new greatest player. He decided before Wimbledon started that he was going to simply relax and enjoy the experience. He apparently was able to do it because he seemed to be playing completely within himself, with no pressure to overextend himself. The result was that his mechanics, tactics, emotions and spirit were all perfect. Seeing this helped me become more aware of how “hard I am trying” on each shot...probably too hard...and that I can truly dial it down and be much more effective. This is ongoing for me for I tend to think, instinctively, that if I am not working really hard, then I am not doing enough. When I start to do what feels like enough, it is, in fact, too much, and I start to break down. So all week I was staying aware of relaxing and having a good time. Playing within myself. Letting myself fall into the flow and absorbing my opponent’s shots rather than being overly-aggressive and trying to hurt him with each shot. Patience feels great. I needed to doing some spiritual work too. This involved making a decision to relax some of the “win the Cup” pressure that I have put on myself. I realized that playing for the USA is a gift and something that is an experience to truly enjoy and I am committed to doing just that. Some of the high points of my week of practice: feeling completely energized while and after playing a two hour practice match on a very hot and humid day; working out for doubles for 45 minutes on just returning serve with my backhand, developing the a return that will get me to the net quicker; an amazing set in which I went down 5-1, fought back to 3-5 and while serving that game fought off 6 set points playing without fear. I won that game, lost the set in the next, but still felt a huge win. This week I will do more work on staying relaxed, being purposeful on each shot, serve location and spin and more backhand service returns. My goal continues to be to be a little better today than yesterday. As long as I can do that and let the winning/losing take care of itself I will be playing good ball when I arrive to play. July 14-20 Workouts this week are showing the fruits of the last few weeks’ labors. Played two strong sets on Monday against a very steady 45 and over player. I got much more in touch with dialing down my intensity. There was too much tense in my first set intensity. I was trying to do way too much with each ball and found it difficult to maintain consistency. As a result when we got into a tiebreaker I was too edgy and made a few bad selections to lose the set. I had a short talk with myself and rededicated myself to relaxing into the game. Even though it often felt like I wasn’t doing enough with each ball, I became much more consistent and broke my opponent down. Doing less I won the second set easily at 6-1. So important that I continue to play within myself even though I keep thinking I can do more. It just isn’t necessary and just creates earlier breakdown in mechanics or shot selections. Tuesday I did a full hour of returning serve drills for doubles with a fine Colgate player. I am progressing on my task of getting in behind my return.Spoke to Mike Zim, who was a great doubles player at Harvard and on the tour. He gave me some terrific new insights into doubles tactics. There are so many people out there that can provide great information and I need to remember to go them for advice. I did a presentation on Focus for a ladies club team and heard myself say a few things that were great reminders for me about my own focus. I was stressing over and over again, for them, the importance of being relaxed and enjoying the playing experience. I told them of Billie Jean King telling me to keep reminding all my players that “it is not about the trophies...it is about the playing, the challenges, the relationships, the discoveries...” When I said to her “that is easy for you to say...you have won 20 Wimbledon titles.” Her answer was “that is just why you have to trust what I am saying. I have been to the top of the mountain and I have seen that it is not that big a deal. It is the journey to the top that is meaningful.” I certainly intend to listen. I played a few doubles exhibitions this weekend and played totally fun tennis. I am truly the player that I want to be when I am in this playing mode. This continues to be my goal. July 21-August 2 Spent some time during this stretch with Peter Fishbach. He was the greatest high school player in Nassau County history and went on to become an ATP Tour coach. I picked his brain about doubles service return theory. He helped me clarify what it means to “go for the return,” something that I am trying to do more often. He pointed out that when you play aggressively on the return, you have made a choice to miss more...and that is ok. So my attempts at being able to be aggressive and not miss very many returns was bound to fail. I am free now to go for it without the fear of missing. It is helpful to remember that there are always people out there who know more and can help. During this stretch I have started to feel very solid with my game. I have been playing both singles and doubles so that I am prepared to play either when I finalize the lineup next week. In singles I have managed to get myself into a patient and opportunistic mode of play. I am playing within myself when my opponent does not give me the pitch that I want. I am alert to the possibility that, at any moment, I will get the ball I want. It is then, and only then, that I am attacking. There is a security in knowing exactly what I am trying to do in the point. I will maintain this mode as a way to stay relaxed and focused. I am ready to go. Ready to play. Feeling eager, confident and focused. We arrive in Germany on August 7, practice for three day and then go for the Cup. There will be 20 countries competing for this championship with Spain, Australia, Germany, England and USA being the favorites. There is no guarantee, though. Our Davis Cup team remembers how, two years ago, Roger Federer singlehandedly won a Cup match against the USA team. We know that there may be a great player from any one of the other countries that could win at singles and doubles every day. We must stay alert and avoid team overconfidence. As the captain of the team, this will be my job. I consider myself lucky to be playing and sharing this extraordinary experience. All the work over the years has led to this opportunity. I have worked hard over the last couple of months and have prepared effectively. I have gotten myself to a place, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually that will give me the best chance to play well and to help the team. It is my intent to continue to send email journal entries when I am away assuming I can get easy access to the web. Aug 2 afternoon A quick followup from today's practice sessions...played good friend and great player Adam Rosen who absolutely took me apart. I was impatient, overhitting, being non ritualistic on my serve and, generally, not doing anything that I had thought that I had solidified in my game. GREAT REMINDER...DON"T GET LAZY MENTALLY OR OLD HABITS QUICKLY TAKE ROOT! Better that it happened today and not next week. Tomorrow's practice session will give me the opportunity to rededicate myself to working hard and taking nothing for granted. THE DAY BEFORE LEAVING I have played hard for 20 of the last 22 days. I am ready. I am moving well, getting to every ball and have gotten back to making myself a tough opponent to win a point against. I am still making a few too many errors in specific situations such as on 2nd serve returns (I am a little too casual) and forehands on the run (I am going to improve my positioning). I need to serve more into the body and continue to use my pre serve rituals so that I am taking my time. I am going to rest my body, process all of the info that I have gathered about my game , make decisions and choices that will help me play good tennis. I look forward to the challenges in this game of me vs. myself. I am psyched. I am eager. I am ready. hello all from bielefeld germany we arrrived late on thursday after a very long a hot trip. we had a 10 hour layover in paris. carol and i spent several hours walking around the left and right banks in 105 degree weather. it was brutal. europe is in a terrible heat wave. a/c has been cut back all over including the airport. but we finally made it with another flight and two train rides. bielefeld is delightul and the germans are wonderfully hospitable. the food is excellent. the weather...that is another story as it is reaching 95 every day. the team is made up of neal newman of columbus ohio, fred robinson of north carolina and jamie pressley of palm beach florida and me. i have been glad to seem many familiar faces from the international tennis scene. friends i have made from polaying this event the last few years feel like old friends. the bonding with players from south africa, france, austrailia, israel, germany, sweden and on and on. it is a special experience. we all share a wonderful passion for tennis and competition that is special. we all talk about how lucky we are to be participating in an event such as this. the whole city is excited about this event. bielefeld is hosting the Fred Perry Cup for 50 and over and the Dubler Cup for 45 and over. the american 45 and over team are good cronies as well and we are pulling for each other. my teammates and i have been dong two a day practices at Tennis Club Dortmund. it is a wonderful club that has all of the amenitites. well, not really...no soap or shampoo and towels that feel like sandpaper. tennis balls are $13 a can...well at least they give you 4 balls in a can. the beer flows in the clubhouse like you cannot believe. by the way the beer is locally brewed and delicious. the courts are the famous euorpean red clay and very very dry becaus of the hot dry weather. footing is terrible and players are searching the city for sneakers that offer better traction. as for me, i like bad footing and crummy conditions so i am ok with it. the first day of practice was awful. i thought that my game had abandoned me. it was not that, though, it was simply no legs from the long trip and feeling exhausted. by today, day 3, i am feeling good on the court and ready to go. i have a captains meeting tonight with the ITF (internationa tennis federation) to present lineups and, make the team seedings and scheduling. i met with my teammates today and we discussed who should be playing our two singles matches and one doubles. each of us is good enough to be playing first singles but only one of us can be listed in that position. i heard everybody's opinion and made my decision based on all of the input. i have put pressley at 1, me at 2, newman at 3 and robinson at 4. Robinson is def. our best player and putting him at 4 gives me the most flexiblity to play him at #2 or doubles. i can play 1 or 2 or doubles. pressley can play only 1. we will trade off at singles a bit. i don't know who we paly tomorrow in the first round yet but will go with pressley, robinson aat singles. newman and i will play doubles. we need to win 2 of 3 matches each day in order to win our flight to advance to thursdays quarterfinals. the best teams are spain, australia, england, germany, france, and usa. all of our wives are with us and provide remarkable support and our infintely patient with our endless tennis stories, dirty laundry and an occassional massage for our physical complaints, of which there are many. the team has bonded teriffically. we eat all meals together, hang out and help each other out with plying suggestions. how very different than he normal tennis experience. first match tomorrow at 11:30. the format is that we get one court and play in order #2 singles, followed by #1 singles, and then the doubles so we all watch each other. i will be on court to captain and coach my players during their matches, another aspect that is different. coaching is allowed and is a huge benefit. we are all used to being alone out there when playing. in this event, as in davis cup, we can receive the benefit of an on court coach. you may be able to find the results at www.itftennis.com. the link would be cups and compeitions, veterans, and we are the Fred Perry Cup. i will attempt to write after each day but it appears to be tricky to get a computer each day. go USA! NIGHT BEFORE THE COMPETITION BEGINS at sunday night's meeting, the seedings were determined and we were #4 of 6 seeded teams: spain, australia, france, usa, germany, austria. next in line but unseeded was great britain. we had a bye on monday and had our first match today, tuesday, against the brits. they were anchored by one of the finest individual players at this event. for us this was not a happy prospect. when i reported to my teammates who we would be playing for our first match everybody got overly focused on how tough it would be. i stressed for all the importance of just going out and concentrating on our games and playing good tennis when the time came. on monday night i discussed lineup with all and decided to put myself at doubles. we had pressley, a super clay court master at 1 singles and robinson, our youngest player at 2 singles. to win the match it is necessary to win 2 of 3. i put myself at doubles with newman, the finest sr. doubles player in the usa. robinson won easily, 60 64. pressely went out to play the great British player and lost a 2 1/2 hour marathon 62, 64. the doubles would now be the crucial point to determine the winner who would advance. feeling that robinson was a far superior doubles player to me i made a last minute change in lineup and put him in to play with newman. it was a difficult decision because i am here to play and wanted to be out there. but it also felt like the right decision for the team. alas it did not pay off as the brits won the dbls 75 62. i felt like the loss was mine. i know what it feels like to be the manager or coach of a team. if the team wins, it is the players. if the team loses it is the coach whose head rolls. i have been second guessing myself for the last hours. my teammates all supported the decisions and that feels good. this takes us out of the running for the cup this year but we still have a match against mexico tomorrow followed by at least two more matches in the second level flight. i must motivate myself and my teammates for tomorrows match. we are from the usa and we are accustomed to success. our goal will be to win our remaining matches and to hold our heads up high. last night, the opening ceremonies were held at a fifteenth century castle. it was an extraordinary experience with all teams wearing their nations colors and, as captain, i got to hold our flag when the national anthem was played. it was moving and i felt pride at being an american. the israeli players wanted to take pictures with our flag and me. the argentinians wanted a picture with me as well. they said they wanted to bring home pics of teir team and the captain of the most powerful country in the world. carol of course was moved to tears. as i looked around i realiyed how far i have come as a player, standing with the top 4 players from 18 countries from around the world. i was aware last night that regardless of what would happen on the court we were all winners and will never forget it. the relationships that i have developed by playing on this cup team for 3 of the last 4 years will stay with me forever. i have made friends from spain, france, germany, israel, australia, england, ireland, and on and on. we all talk of making sure to visit one another in the future and i am sure that we will. a local family has been assigned to be our hosts for the week and we are off to their home for dinner tonight. they are opening their home to both our 45 and 50 and over teams as well as wives. incredibly hospitable. there will be more to report as the week continues. Before 2nd Team Match had to have a team meeting with players last night to fire everyone up for future matches. we are still here to place as highly as possible. the guys were kind of depressed in that each one contributed to the loss. by morning we were ready to go again. we played against mexico and had two close singles matches with the second match of the day going three sets. it was nervewracking. i played doubles for my first play of the week. i was determined to put the past behind and to play really well. i was really pumped up and was so eager that i would have picked up the balls for the opposing team if i were allowed. we won 62, 62 and i played about as well as i can play. happy to report that my returns were great. i had practiced them for weeks before arriving and it really paid off. i feel really good to have won a point for the team and the usa. tomorrow we play sweden. i am thinking of playing singles and doubles but wont decide until the morning. we had a wonderful dinner last night at our host family's home. they hosted both the 45 and 50 teams as well as wives. 12 of us were in this lovely apartment and we ate and drank much beer until very late. the germans are delightful and incredibly hospitable. Quarterfinals of back draw vs. Sweden a wonderful day for the team and for me, personally. today we played the quarterfinals of the back draw against a very strong team from sweden. we swept all three matches. i played #1 singles for the first time ever in an international cup match and played as well as i have ever played. i beat the top player from sweden 62 62. i played with a confidence that i dream about but don't often feel. this was clearly a continuation of the way i felt in the doubles against mexico, where i felt like the best player here. to win so handily against such a fine player contibuted to how i played in the doubles as well. neal newman and i won 62 62 in that match. now we advance to the semis against swityerland on friday. our team is clearly on a mission. we have left the disappointment of our earlier defeat to great britain and have moved on. since that day we have won all six matches that we have played. i am happy that i have won 3 of those 6 matches. our team continues to bond and the four of us will be close friends forever from this remarkable experience. again we are aware of how we are loved by the aussies, the brits and, mostly, the israeli team. the israeli team will need to leave before their final match and have suggested that i wear one of their shirts, speak a little hebrew and play in their place. won't happen but it was a cute idea. Semifinals of Back Draw vs. Swiss another banner day for team usa. we swept swiss without the loss of a set (i won in the doubles 62 60) and have advanced to the finals of the back draw. tomorrow, closing day, we go against #3 seeded french team. they, like us, were upset on the first day. i considered them to be the favorites before we arrived so it will be our toughest match. i will play #1 singles and doubles. my singles opponent was the 45 and over world champion two years ago so i will be up against it. i am eager for the opportunity to play him. my goal is to play good tennis, to run down every ball and to make no unforced errors. this guy will be seeing me at my best and i will be a tough opponent for him to win a point against. my speed will be my weapon. how great that i have a chance to play against someone of his level. as agassi said after beating roddick a few months ago..."between the lines there is no age." at the opening captain's meeting last sunday, the french captain called the usa team old (three of out players are 55). i told him that age means nothing and that we are simply more intelligent. we have been kidding each other all week so tomorrow will be fun for all. i have mentioned the great relationships that this sport and competition has given me. last night at the big players party two of the israeli players remembered that we had competed against each other in the 1985 maccabian games in israel. we shared great memories and talked of how we will always remember each of these special events. tonight at dinner i toasted my wonderful teammates who have truly eliminated the word "I" from their vocabularies. we are tryly a team forever. we saluted our wives who have been so supportive, have put up with our endless tennis talk, and have allowed us to be a bunch of self absorbed kids. one comment about late last night when we returned from the party. standing around the bar we saw the reports on BBC about the power outage. we all were glued to the tv and were nervous about what was going on. we had limited info as i imagine many of you had. we wished that we were there even though it must have been awful. when something happens at home, tennis is forgotten and we just want to be there. we were relieved to hear this morning that this was not what we had feared. hoping that all of you are doing ok and that everyone is fine. Back Draw Finals vs. France well it was the #3 and #4 seeded teams playing fo rhte finals of the back draw. france vs. usa. our #2 player started off the day with a very tough 3 set win and things looked pretty good for us. i was feeling eager and excited to be playing a former world champion. i had to wait two hours to get on the court for the first match to end. istarted out on fire against an extremely crafty player, a lefty who sliced all backhands and snapped topspin foehands. he mixed in an incredible number of drop shots and i took hím out in the first set, 6-2. up 15-40 on his serve in the first game of the second set i was poised to take control of the match. he escaped and quickly broke me. at 2-0 down in the second i popped a string in my racket, had a little trouble adjusting to my second racket that was strung a little looser. several games later i broke a string in that one and never really got my feel back. he won the second set, 6-1. before i knew what wswa happening he was on a roll and i was unable to catch up. his game took me out of mine and i had no ansers on the slow clay against somebody who was feeling more and more comfortable. i went down 6-3 in the third.newman and i went out to "play the doubles" immediately after a fifteen minute break, had chances in the first but i didn't hold serve at 5-4 in the first and they won a tiebreaker. we went down 0-4 in the second, fought back, but lost 6-3. the loss was disappointíng but the team feeling at the conclusion was memorable. as i have said all week, the experience, the relationships, the opportunity to play for the usa... this is what it is all abóut. never to be forgotten.by the way germany beat australia for the cup. after splitting the two singles matches it came down to the doubles. there were nine, yes 9 consecutive service breaks and in the tenth game the germans held. fitting that they won the cup as the host team. cheers to them. it has been a great run. i now prepare to go to boston in two weeks to play the potter cup, a competition between the brits and usa on the grass at longwood, a historic club. can't wait to get off the dirt and on the turf. best to all. Back to top 2003 USTA National 55 Grass Championships Over the last two weeks I have been preparing to play in my first 55 and over tournament, the National 55 Grass. It is being played at Rockaway Hunting Club in Cedarhurst, Long Island. Rockaway is the oldest club in the country and steeped in tradition. Of course, all white clothes, best behavior and no cell phones allowed on the premises. This tournament offers me several new challenges. Coming into the age group as one of the top players in the 50s makes me a bit of a marked man. I have been seeded #1 so everybody is eager to get a shot at me. Being seeded #1 in a National is a wonderful acknowledgement of the past year but it is unrelated to how a player is doing in the present. Being seeded #1 in a tournament is particularly enjoyable during the couple of days before the first ball is hit. Lots of external gratification and talk about how great it looks like I am playing. Of course, being seeded #1 does very little to help win a match. It still comes down to playing good solid tennis day in and day out. Another challenge will be playing a big event while staying at home. I need to treat this event as if I am away, where I can focus on those things that help me play good tennis. Practicing, eating right, stretching, hot tubs and just, generally, being self absorbed. Carol has already given me the ok. In fact she insisted that I cancel a couple of lessons that I had scheduled for today. Even though my first match is tomorrow she reminded me that I need to be in that match frame of mind starting on the first day of the tournament. Her support always makes my commitment easier. After playing on the clay in Europe my confidence was a little down. I was feeling that I had lost a little of my swagger that contributed to me having such a wonderful 2002 on the courts. My perspective was distorted for the losses that I took in Europe were against the very top clay court players in the world. I, nevertheless, am tough on myself and felt that I could have been putting a better level of play out on the courts. Fortunately I got to play on the grass in Boston two weeks ago. I was asked to play for the United States against Great Britain in competition for the Avory Cup. The organizers of this biannual cup select two players from each age group from the open (under 30) to the 65 and over. Being selected is an honor. I got to play and win two singles and two doubles matches and helped the USA kick the British butts. It was a bit of payback for me after our loss to them in Europe three weeks ago. Interestingly, the other 55 and over player on the team is my doubles partner here at the 55 Grass. He is somebody who years ago, before I had ever won a National match, had been kind enough to hit with me when he was the #1 40 and over player in the USA. The best players are secure enough in their games to let go of the pecking order and welcome other players into the game. They don’t look down at lesser players. Now, so many years later, we are playing doubles together. I practiced today and played more than satisfactorily. I am serving big and smart. Watching Roddick over the last few days has reminded me to continually be aggressive when serving. I am returning as well as I have in several months. On the grass my movement is a huge asset and I am feeling quick. All of this has my confidence moving up. I play singles tomorrow morning and can’t wait to get out there. Doubles in the afternoon will help complete what I am confident will be a good opening day. First Matches Today I finally got out there to start playing. I was aware of feeling very relaxed for a National. I usually have a more nervous edgy feeling on day 1. I am feeling confident in my game. This is a welcome change that has occurred over the last few days. I know that I am "on the ball" and into every shot. Tournaments require this attention to every single shot. Everything becomes magnified in importance. A shot missed that could have been made can turn into a lost game. A loose game can turn into a set that you can't recover quite turn around. It feels great to be able to tune in to each moment during the match. This is what staying in the present feels like. Tennis competition provides me with this experience. I played a near perfect match in singles, winning 60 61, losing very few points. I made very few careless errors. I played relaxed and easy, yet with a mental intensity that allowed me to hit every ball cleanly. In doubles, Chas Hoeveler and I won 62 62 against a solid team. This is our third match together and we definitely complement each other. He is a fierce competitor with high expectations of himself. I feed on this. It is a gift to be able to play in these tournaments. I am challenged by them every day. Today I was challenged to play focused and hard against a player that I knew that I would beat under almost any circumstances. I had to be alert to overconfidence and complacency. I needed to be sure to give my opponent the respect that he deserved. This is the spirit of competition. Today I succeeded in each of these ways at the same time as winning the game. It feels good to be able to succeed in all of the goals of competition. Round of 16 Today was one of those special days where everything felt just right. I was calm, unhurried and unconcerned about anything. It didn’t matter if we started on time, what court I was playing on, who was watching or what was going on around me. I was in a comfortable bubble. I felt like I was watching myself. I noticed how relaxed I was feeling and behaving. This feeling stayed with me through both my singles and doubles matches. I was totally confident in my ability to hit just about any shot. I served and hit returns without any fear of missing and the results were remarkable. My opponent was a fine player but there was very little that he was able to do that impacted on my confidence. I had two shaky moments. Leading 6-2, 1-1 I missed a couple of makeable shots, he made a couple of passes anti dropped my serve. Staying calm and confident I broke him at love making two winner service returns. At 6-2, 5-3, serving for the match, I was down game point twice. I came up with a winner volley and an ace to escape. So even when there was trouble, I did fine. Tennis should always feel the way it felt in this match. Unfortunately it doesn’t but this can still be a beacon to always aim for. Doubles was more of the same. I played against two long time friends who were better than me when I first started to play tournaments. Today I was the best on the court. Again I felt that I could hit any shot. I even made some backhand service return winners. Tomorrow, in the quarters of the singles and the semis of the doubles, I will just continue to focus on my game...making returns, being aggressive on my serve, running for every ball, making good contact. I will continue to wrap myself up in a relaxed state. I must do these things just for the sake of doing them, with no particular gaining idea. At the same time, I am also aware that all of this, if I can do it, will keep me focused and will lead me to feelings of confidence. Quarterfinals Woke up today again feeling calm and clear. I knew right away that I was going to be able to stay relaxed. I knew exactly what my goals for the day were and I wasn’t going to let thinking about winning or losing ruin my plans. My goals were to stay relaxed, have fun, make a lot of returns, serve aggressively and put lots and lots of balls in the court. My opponent in the singles was an Eastern player, one with whom I have had many memorable matches. We have played no less that 15 finals but have never played in a National. The stakes were higher. I made a strong conscious effort to delete him from my thoughts. Thinking abut the implications of beating him or losing to him would have kicked up my anxiety and reduced my focus in a way that my play would have been shaky. Today that was not to be. Today it was just a beautiful day on the grass at Rockaway. I started out great and then got even better, winning 63 61. In all of our matches together this was the most lopsided. By focusing on my goals and blocking any thoughts about my opponent I was able to, as Brad Gilbert tells Roddick, “take care of business..” The doubles was more of the same as Charlie and I beat the 2nd seeded and multi National Championships team 63 63. I played with confidence as I continue to increase my belief that I belong at the top. This has been a long hard journey for me as I have often felt like a temporary visitor to the upper echelons of senior tennis. My results are not what convince me. What has increased my belief that I am a top senior player has been my more recent ability to control my state effectively when playing in big moments with great players. Feels good. Another special part of today was when my Mom's sister and Dad's brother, both in their 80s showed up to watch. On this day of memories it was nice to feel that my folks were here watching. Tomorrow the semis of the singles against my doubles parther and the finals of the doubles. Singles semis and Doubles finals Followed all of the same rituals that I have been doing all week to maintain my relaxed focused state, walked on the court to play the singles semis and felt ready for more of the same confident play. Got immediately knocked out of the calm accepting frame of mind when I went down 0-40 in first game when serving. My opponent, Charlie Hoeveler, a winner of 33 National Sr. Championships, played a tactically brilliant first game, hitting softly and short. For the first time in the week I dropped my serve. It shook my confidence a bit and, instead of coming back strongly for the next game, I missed a bunch of returns and found myself down 0-2. Played another shaky serve game but held as Charlie made a couple of great gets and got a let cord rollover winner. The pattern was that he was doing to me what I had been doing to others: getting every ball back, running down my volleys and outguessing me when I had an open court chance. My old enemy, frustration, started to kick in, I got edgy and started to talk to myself negatively. This didn’t help and I had a couple of more shaky serve games and no impact on his serve. Serving at 3-5 I fought off thoughts of losing the set, played a positive game and, on the changeover break decided that I needed to play aggressively in the next game as he served for the first set. I decided that playing cautiously and fearfully would only give it away. I broke him in a very competitive game to get to 5-5. From that point on it was my match. I didn't lose another game, winning 10 in a row and getting a 75 60 win. It was the moment of deciding to play aggressively with no fear of losing that was the turning point. It was a wonderful win for me in terms of result as well as in taking a big risk in a huge moment. The doubles match was fierce with Charlie and I playing the top seeded team. We started quickly and went up 3-0. When I served at 3-1 I future tripped and thought of winning the match easily. Instead I dropped serve and we were in for a battle. Everybody held serve until 6-6. Both teams had chances in the breaker. I made a set saving service return winner at 7-6 and a set winning return and forehand drive at 9-8. I served out the match at 5-4 of the second set. Winners of the National Grass doubles with Charlie Hoeveler in our first tournament together. Remember Charlie was the one who, twenty years ago, was willing to practice with me when I was a virtual unknown. During the post match photos I found out that our opponents have won 48 National doubles titles and that Charlie, by winning today, won a National title for his 15th consecutive year. As for me, it was my 6th. Levels of the game continue to amaze me. Looks like the singles final may be washed out for today and postponed to Sunday. If the courts are not playable for Sunday, we will be moved indoors. So much for the grass if that happens. Double Gold On a slippery grass court this morning I defeated 3rd seed Peter Bronson of Scottsdale, Arizona 75 64 to win the Nationals. My best tennis tournament ever ended with me winning two Championships. I am stunned. Will attempt a final summary journal entry after I come out of the clouds. FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE NATIONALS Winning the singles and doubles championships at one tournament is something that I had never even considered. I continue on this incredible journey often feeling like an observer more than a participant. I watch myself achieving remarkable results while at the same time feeling that I am doing very little to make these results happen. More and more I get a sense that these successes have everything to do with getting out of my own way. As I progress through the different years, seasons, tournaments, matches, sets, games, points and shots I learn more and more how to trust my game and and to let my instinct just play. This tournament was a new level of taking it easy, being relaxed and letting go of the tension of control. I experienced new levels of being unafraid to fail that allowed me to go for shots that, in the past, would have had too much risk. I felt no risk this week. It was a special feeling. I know that I am still visiting this place and that the tennis gods will want me to learn more before I can call this place home. In the finals I never had a doubt. I knew that my game was solid. I knew that I was unworried. I knew that the match was mine to win or lose. I was confident and sure. I was intense and relaxed. The feeling of self satisfaction when completing this run was extraordinary. I can’t wait to play again. Thanks to all for sharing this tournament experience with me. It helps me stay on track to know that you are all there following along. Whoever said that tennis is a lonely sport doesn’t know about my posse. Back to top 2002 National Grass Court Championships "Three weeks before the Nat'l 50 Grass Court Championships in Philadelphia. Will be going there as the defending champ and likely #1 seed based on having won one of the two already played Nationals this year. For three years my goal has been to achieve the #1 ranking in my age group. Two years ago I had Brian Cheney, the then #1 down 4-1 in the third set tiebreaker in the semis at this same championship. If I win the match I am a likely #1 at year end. Brian had other plans as he took the last six points of the match. So I once again approach this tournament with my goal within reach. " Will I be able to execute? Will I be able to rid myself of whatever counterproductive thoughts pop into my head that might undermine my chances? Will I be able to train hard and stay healthy? Will I be able to maintain my motivation? WILL I BE ABLE TO REMAIN FOCUSED ON THE IMPORTANT STUFF? That is my work for the next few weeks. "I started preparing by entering the 45 sectional clay and gr (ass, both during July. I needed matches to get my mind into the right gear. I know that I need to get myself thinking about my game, not about my future results in Philly. To do that I play matches and work on thinking about the point that I am playing, not the score. I only can experience this in match play. Practice matches just don't have the fear factor working that makes it difficult to let go of winning." I also chose to play in the 45s because I didn't want to be practicing my match play where the risk of losing was higher. To lose in the 45s means nothing in my drive to be #1. Any loss in the 50s would immediately ruin my chances. I would rather put in all on the line in one tournament...Philly. "Going into these events my only concerns were finding my interest, narrowing my focus and gett ing into tennis shape. As usual this approach to playing took all the pressure off of winning and freed me up to play great, as if it were practice. I won the clay court event beating Bob Bull, a player who is known for his clay court tenacity and is certainly one of the best 45 players on clay in the East. I had lost to him both other times that I had played him, so winning against him was extra sweet. More importantly was that I had competed really well. Certainly a very positive first step towards my goal." Next came the 45 sectional grass tournament. This tournament is so special to me. It is played at the legendary West side Tennis Club in Forest Hills. "I first played there when I was in the 35s, probably about 17 years ago. I had never been on a grass court a nd I was, at the time, ranked about #5 in the East. The top players were Seewagon, James and Tanis. Everybody else trailed them. Somehow when I walked on the grass I felt sensational. I played on it as if I had played on it for my whole life. In that first grass tournament I made it to the semis and started to experience myself as a ""better"" player. It just changed the way I felt about myself." I won the event for the last two years and was eager to see how this would interfere with my focusing on the right stuff. I also came into the tournament aware that I was on an Eastern winning streak dating back to March of 2000. These are definitely thoughts that would help me play badly. I would be challenged to get them put away in a mental lockbox. "My quarterfinal match provided my first set of challenges. I had a weird mindset going into it. I feel so secure on the grass and have had so many easy matches on the grass that I feel that I should have no problems unless I am playing one of the top national players. On the other hand I knew how good and what a fierce competitor Jim Malhame would be. Anyway, I was a bit nervous because I was thinking more about winning and how it would be bad if I lost. During the match this manifested itself by me being overly lackadaisical. In spite of moving well to get to balls I wasn't moving my feet with intensity when I wasn't moving to the ball. I was a bit flat. I did serve really well when I needed to and I made a few good shots when I was receiving. But I wasn't closing him out. I felt that I escaped with a win that was closer than the 6-2, 7-5 score indicated. I was in trouble in the second set and had difficulty being proactive. I played well enough and badly enough to give Jim enough chances to win or lose the second set. Fortunately for me his lack of recent match play caused him to miss a few that turned things in my direction. Whew! I was much more nervous about this match than I was aware. That is no ¹t a good thing. I must pay more attention to how I am really feeling going into my matches. It is not bad to be nervous. It is a negative to be nervous and think you're not." "My semifinal was against Paul Moss, an Eastern player who played for Penn years ago. He is a an excellent shot maker and knows that his best surface is grass. He had been practicing with Val Wilder, the #1 40 in the World, all week, so he was ready for me. I was more relaxed going into this match for I knew that Paul's shots would play into my strengths. The more somebody hits penetrating shots against me the better my volleys and returns tend to be. I started out playing amazing. I won my serve, broke his, and held in a matter of about 12 minutes. The first set was over in less than 20 minutes. I was serving as well as I can ever remember, including 3 aces in one game. The second set was more of the same and when I went up 5-3 and then my wheels started to come off. A little mental future trip when I thought about what a great win this was about to be. A romp. An assertion of my dominance. Bam! I took it right in the face for that kind of thinking. He broke me and what was a romp became a battle. We went to a breaker. I fell on the first point of the breaker and it got worse from there. I missed returns. I hit two double faults. One set apiece. I had been 2 points away from being in the shower after an hour and a quarter.It was hot.It was humid. He was up. I was neutral. I had to muster it up to fight through some wimpy thoughts (like i am just using this tournament as practice for the nationals, therefore i don't need to win every match). THIS IS WHY I AM PLAYING THESE PRACTICE MATCHES! This thought bounced around my mind while I sat on the court for the ten minute break between the 2nd and 3rd set. " What do I need to do to recover from being 2 points away from the locker room and now at one set apiece. I hadn't anticipated this. I determined that this was my opportunity to take right steps in a challenging competitive situation. I decided that I would play each point as if it was the whole match. Nothing in the past. Nothing in the future. I would compete fiercely for every ball that came to my side. We started the third set and I was a different player than the one who had struggled to lose the second. 6-2 to me and a lot learned. Paul was a worthy opponent throughout and showed me the value of staying positive even when you are getting beaten like a drum. He stuck around long enough to catch a concentration lapse and was right in the match. Thank you Paul for reminding me of that. I intend to keep that in my mental tennis bag. "So I relearned in this match that I can't be fooled by things coming too easily. Good opponents never quit. I need to be alert to feeling overconfident to the point of putting forth less than 100% effort. I was again reminded of the importance of playing with a sense of urgency throughout the length of a match regardless of the score. AND, AGAIN, TO FIGHT AGAINST THINKING ABOUT RESULTS." "Playing against Aussie David Brent in the finals would be a major challenge. He is a player that I believe is better than me. My three consecutive clay court wins against him two years ago not withstanding, I was still unable to accept that I had his number. With his perfect continental grips, his big time serve and his impeccable volleys, I was hoping to just play a good match and get out of there with my confidence. Winning and losing was irrelevant. I just wanted to make sure that I was going to be competitive for each and every point. I would run had for everything and keep putting the ball in the court. We had to wait over an hour after our scheduled time to start due to another match. I was calm while waiting. I felt very comfortable and peaceful. Unconcerned about the match. I really felt that I was going to play good tennis and that is all that mattered to me. I played one of the cleanest matches that I have ever played.I broke his serve three times in the first set and rarely missed a shot. Won it 6-1I was clearly focused on only the point that I was playing. I was so solid, mentally and physically that he couldn't sustain any offensive momentum. I was there for every shot. I got nervous and lost focus when serving at 4-3 in the second set. It had less to do with winning and more to do with me thinking that Brent is a great player and that I should be careful. Right after thinking that I started each point more defensively on my serves and, just like that, I let him into the match. After the changeover as I was about to serve at 4-5 I felt hot, and tired, and old. I lost the f irst point. I acted more tired, feeding into it. I did a squat and got up slowly. I noticed what I was doing and I quickly grabbed myself by my brain and said, 'what are you doing? You weren't hot and tired and old two games ago. Get it together. Snap out of it!' I did it. I righted myself. That was the defining moment of the match. If i play a weak game there we go to a third set and anything can happen. I was forced to check my will and determination as I played that 4-5 game. I decided that focusing on feeling tired and hot at that moment would be a bad move. I refocused on type of serve and location and putting every ball in the court. It was one of the finest mental matches that i have ever played. I was living each point moment to moment. I was never upset with my play in a way that crept into the upcoming point. I was emotionally calm. I was physically relaxed. I was mentally clear. An enjoyable weekend on the courts. Two exceptional victories. Much food for thought as I prepare for Philly." 31-Aug "It is always nice to still be playing on the last day of the tournament, whether it be for the championship or for third place. In the past I would watch the singles finals with envy and feel unfulfilled. This year I felt at peace while they were going on. I had played well all week and that seemed to be enough to fulfill me. I felt self satisfaction from knowing that I gave my all and played up to my capabilities." "Kirk and I played our closest friends on the senior circuit for 3rd place. One of them, Phil Landauer, won the singles in the morning. The other, Neal Newman, was the player that I defeated in the finals of the National Indoors in March. We have all been close for many years. They have won many National doubles titles together. We were down 7-6, 5-2 and fought off two match points on their serve and won the set 7-5. After 3 hours and 15 minutes they beat us 6-4 in the third.We all hugged and furthered our bond with each other. It was another of many memorable matches that I played this week. It was also my third 6-4 in the third set loss of the week. " "I have learned a lot this week and have new goals to work on. I learned that being in the zone at a higher level, as I was for months, doesn't last forever. I learned that I was not prepared for it to happen. When I played my match against Pancho it was the first time that I had a long enough mental wiggle to be out of the zone. I didn't notice it and, as a result, I didn't do anything about it. My new goals are: to find the method for staying in the zone at this new level for longer stretches of time; to increase my awareness of when I have dropped out; and to develop some steps to follow when I have dropped out. The funny thing is that I have had these same goals each time I have moved up to a new level." "I also discovered how I moved into this new level. I went to play the National Indoors in March only intending to work on my game in preparation for the World Championships. With winning or losing out of the equation and the goal being to play good tennis, I relaxed into my game. From that came six months of the most exciting tennis I have ever experienced. I expect to be a more frequent visitor to this place. In fact, I plan on moving in." 30-Aug Back on the grass today. Watched the singles semis and saw all of the players sprawled on the grass because it was so slippery. It was really treacherous. Many o f us have grass court sneakers that are helpful in these conditions. They have little nubs on the bottoms. Mine were in the car back at the hotel thirty round trip minutes away with our semifinal due to start in 20 minutes. Carol went back to get them while Kirk and I played hide and seek with our opponents. Kirk would go and look for me and then I would show up and try to find him. Our opponents were cool with waiting and I had them in time to start. "Physically I was feeling very beat up. Two long days on the hardcourts with no hardcourt preparation took its toll. I was so stiff that during the warmup I wondered how I was going to be able to bend and change direction. Somehow, though, once the match started, the pain was gone. We played a tightly contested three set match but ended up coming in second. The score was 6-4, 3-6, 7-5. Tomorrow we play off for third place and a bronze ball. We are determined. What we won today was an incredible bonding as a team. Kirk and I have matured as a team over the last week in a way that is rare and special. Our support of each other, the way we enjoy each other on the court, the way in which we complement each other makes us a team with great strength. We truly felt that we won and lost this week as a team. Just another gem that I get to walk away with by playing these tournaments." "Many people sent me emails letting me know how badly they feel that I lost in the quarters. I appreciate your feelings. For me, however, this has been a successful tournament. Winning any matches in a National is hard. Winning a National is harder still. I appreciate each win that I get. Although I go into every National with the belief that I will go all the way, I know that anything can happen on any day. Each time I go out to play it is a truth that I will come away with a win or a loss. I am happy to be playing. I am blessed to be able to play. " 30-Aug "The morning after a tough loss, especially when my hopes were so high, is strange. I woke up early and the first thoughts that crossed my mind were the realization that my run here in the singles is over. I hadn't lost a match on the grass here or anywhere for two years. My thinking mind understands that nothing goes on forever. My emotional mind is disappointed. Yesterday's match replayed in my mind as I lay in bed. Missed opportunities are magnified. What could I have done differently? How could I have regained the momentum that carried me through the week and first half of this match? I pride myself so much on my focus and mental toughness and that is what let me down just that little bit at a couple of key moments. It is interesting. It was never about my shots or my strategy. It was simply a few rogue thoughts about winning that contributed to my loss. I wonder if the burden of trying to defend my title, to win a second consecutive National, to win two in one year to be undefeated and #1 for the year created a little crack in my mental foundation. I had never been in this position before. As wi th anything, having been there, done that has its advantages. I am eager to create this chance for myself again." "I have relearned that setting big goals is worthwhile even though coming up short is disappointing. I have relearned that setting big goals motivates me like nothing else. These goals create an internal energy and desire that drives me to do whatever it takes to succeed. I am reminded that the drive for succeeding far outweights the disappointment. I am sure that within a few days I will, once again, set new and higher goals than ever before. I have tasted what it is like to be right at the very apex of this sport and will not stop trying until I get there. The challenge is what it is all about and the journey always proves to be memorable. These experiences help me grow as a player and as a person and I look forward to many more." 29-Aug "Indoor hardcourts again today for the quarterfinals. My match against Walthall is thought of as the match of the tournament and lived up to the hype. He won 6-7, 6-3, 6-4. It was a monumental match. He served and volleyed every point and was rock solid. It was clear from the start that every point would be fiercely contested. I was fortunate to win the first set tiebreaker when Pancho got a little tight. Second set I got an early break but it was not going to be easy to hold it with the each point was fought for. I hit a bad patch at 3-2, didn't realize as I was serving that game that I gad gotten a little ahead of myself, thinking about winning the match. Oh, that future tripping is such a trap. I did it in a few matches last month and won them anyway so I didn't learn enough from the lapses. It won't happen again because I will remember that when I am up a service break after winning a first set and I drop the first point on a service game I will stop and reorganize. Today I didn't take charge until the set had gotten away from me. The third set started off as a nightmare. I dropped serve, almost won his next game but he escaped. I barely managed to get to 2-1. He then fought off every charge that I made and took a 5-1 lead. I knew at that moment that my new task was to fight like a warrior. To be the champion that I want to be for myself I would show no quit. I fought so hard and held, broke and held serve toput him in a position to serve for the match 5-4. After being down 30-0 I made some under major pressure passing shots and got to 30-40. I missed a shot by an inch that would have made the score 5-5. Instead he managed to serve it out for the win. What a great victory for him. What a great match for me to participate in. I was proud of my effort. My goal of being #1is still there for me although now, instead of being done with tournaments for the year, I may be on my way to Florida in October to play the National Clay. Now I need to consider if I want to put myself through the preparation and physical pain again. (I probably will end up doing it.)" "An hour break, just enough time to put my disappointment behind me and back on the court to play the quarters of the doubles against the #4 seeds. Coincidentally, both of my opponents have been my doubles partners in the past. In fact I am undefeated with both of them. Kirk kept checking with me to see how my spirit was. It is always hard to get up after a match like my singles. Well, we did great winning in straight sets. It took a lot of focus to do it, but I did, and now I am in the semis of the doubles against the #1 team in the nation. I am excited about still being in the running for a gold, silver or bronze ball but even more so that I am doing it with Kirk, who has never been in a position to win one. I will play my heart out tomorrow no matter how sore to help Kirk get a ball." 8/28 After the Doubles on Wednesday night "Played Nash and Beautyman tonight. Kirk and I played our best ever match. We were unseeded and beat a really strong team 6-3, 6-2. First of all Nash is 6' 7" and a totally amazing doubles player. Beautyman is very solid. I was in a zone. The whole game is unfolding in front of me in slower motion than ever before. I can hit shots and read returns in a completely manageable time. I feel easy. I feel calm. Kirk told me that my confidence is affecting my opponents... opponents are on their heels when I am hitting my shots. " Quarterfinals of singles and doubles on Thursday. 28-Aug "Got up this morning to rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. That's the forecast for the next couple of days. Tournament committee decided that, in order to finish the tournament we would be moving indoors onto hardcourts. Another year this might have thrown me for a loop, but I am playing so well that I feel like it doesn't matter. Between the two tournaments, singles and doubles, there are 32 matches to play today and the club has only four indoor courts. All of the players were forced to hang around until their match was called. I got to the club for my 10AM match and didn't get on until 2. It was a challenge to stay relaxed and focused and to eat at the right time. Well I played one of my greatest matches ever, beating the #9 seed 6-0, 6-0. I was on every ball...totally intense. I wasn't going to give one point away. Even in the last game of the match, he got an ad and I fought like a barnyard dog to get the point back. I was so focused. Other players were stunned at the outcome. To me, I know that I just have continued to play as I have bee n for the last few weeks. Tomorrow I play Pancho Walthall. He was a top player for Rice University many years ago and beat me like a drum 27 years ago, before I was really into competition. I am eager and ready. Probably will be indoors again. Kirk and I have our doubles match scheduled for this evening, time to be announced. It will be tough. Right now it feels like I am the only one who can defeat me and I am committed to not allowing that to happen."09-Aug I am so aware of my game. Almost every ball that I hit during a lesson resonates through my body and mind. Each one is a totally separate experience from all the others. I don't recall being this highly sensitized to so many shots. It feels great. I enjoy each shot. While this is going on my teaching feels stronger than ever. I am talking with students about simplicity and clarity on the court. "When I practiced on the grass today I felt that I could be on every single ball...that I could get a swing on every single bal l that came to my side of the court. I was a little off to think I could get every single one, but I came close. Lost my rhythm for a while on my serve. It was lock a mind block. I started to use Roddick's service motion...toss first, then everything else follows. It felt good but I am mystified by what happened. Where did my serve go?" "Practiced the inside out forehand service return from the deuce side. Made it the first time I tried it. It was terrific. After that, it was ridiculous...I didn't want to take a chance because I wanted to win the point. That is so silly. I am practicing. Next time I will be committed to working that shot into my game. The one other time that I stepped around on that side I tried to go up the line and overhit it Need to remember that inside out is the best place to hit it." "I was hitting my backhand much harder today, both on returns and pass attempts. I am around early and well grounded. It felt real solid and secure. Keep working on this. Additional pace will be nice to have if I need it. It also feels very freeing to go for the shot fearlessly." 27-Aug "This tournament is always played at several mainline Philly clubs. The main site is Germantown Cricket Club , Philadelphia Cricket Club and Merion Cricket Club. I played at Merion today. It is spectacular. Probably about 80 years old, there is a huge porch overlooking 24 grass courts, six across and 4 deep. There is also a croquet court and several women were actually playing. The grass is perfect. Flat, green, seemingly unplayed on. More than a few players commented on how it doesn't get much better than this." "My match went well against a stocky lefthander from Connecticut. I came out of the gate quickly and broke his serve. Rushed a bit in my first serve game because I was thinking about how quickly I could get off the court. How ridiculous. Lost my serve and then got down to work. He had one of those kind of soft short second serves that I had a little trouble with because I wasn't moving up to it. As a result of me missing a bunch of returns he held a couple of games before I adjusted and got on a roll. I also stopped trying so hard to serve to his backhand. I was overadjusting too much for his being left hand ed and it took me out of my game a bit. I also adjusted that. I won 6-3,6-0. I definitely played many more points with focus than I did yesterday." Tomorrow I play a much stronger player. I will continue to be on each ball and will stay focused on each shot. Right now the game feels very simple. Get to the ball. Hit it to their left or right or over their head. "Tomorrow I will also start to focus on my pre- serve rituals. I plan on taking more time to get clear on how much spin, pace and what location. " "Won in doubles today also and tomorrow play against the same guy I play in singles and his partner, Dave Nash. Dave is a good friend and he and I played doubles together and were semifinalists at the National Indoors this March. " 26-Aug "Got to Germantown for my 10:00 match at about 9:15. Saw more of my closer friends on th e practice courts. Everyone tuning up for matches. I got a good 20 minute hit in and felt find. My neck is hurting from pulling it Sunday while waiting to play (I guess I am feeling some pressure.) Otherwise I am ready. I played a very solid player from Maryland and started very focused winning the first set 6-0. I played every single shot. I gave him no room to breathe. I got a little busy watching other matches during the first game of the second set and he held serve. Just like that I was in a match. I managed a service break when he served at 2-2 and kep thinking after holding to 4-2 that the match was over. My head was in the wrong place. I played too loosely on his service games and he held a couple of more times. No problems for me serving it out at 5-4, but it was a lesson in loss of focus. Tomorrow I will raise my focus considerably. I will play every point as if it is the most important." 25-Aug "Arrived in Philly around noon. Over to Germantown Cricket Club to register for the tournament and to get some practice. It is so special to arrive at the club and to see all of the energy of a National. Sign desk, player packets, seeing all of the players. There are two events going on at the same time, the 45s and the 50s. I so much enjoy seeing all of the players who I have met over the years. Many of us met during while competing in the 35s starting in 1983. Many of the players who were tops then are still at the top. A whole other group, including me have worked their ways to the top. All of us share a special bond. We welcome the newer players who have just started to compete and encour age them to become regulars. Many of my closest friends have come from these events. We, of course, talk a lot of tennis, but we also share whatever is going on in our lives. Each year brings updates on spouses, jobs, children, health and future goals. I feel blessed to be part of the whole experience. " "I feel very solid walking into this event. I feel, for the first time ever in a National, that I am the man to beat. After so many years of playing I feel that I have truly earned the respect of the other players. Although I have had a bit of the respect over the years, I never felt deserving until this year. It is just another sign of my feeling ok with my game and my competitive spirit. Its funny how when you are desperate for something, as I was for validation from others, it never seems to be there. When you finally get it, you don't even need it anymore because the only validationthat matters comes from within." 24-Aug "Practiced for final time before leaving today. Played with Cykeman again and played clean and solid. My best showing yet. My game is in the best place it has ever been going into an event. Went for a massage and actually felt badly afterwards. Sore lower back. When I get up on Saturday I will see how it feels and, regardless, take it easy. Will probably take an anti inflammatory. I am relaxed and eager. " "I saw the draw and I am seeded #1, which is very exciting, at least until the first ball is hit. At that point it means nothing. I looked forward in the tournament and see some difficult opponents in my path. One player, Pancho Walthall, who used to be a player for Trinity, beat me almost 30 years ago in the first round of the Antigua Open. I had been invited to play the tournament because I knew they organizer of the event. It was in 1975 and the seeds were Gene Scott, Walthalll, Vitas G. and Gene Mayer. Panch o beat me in the opening match on the feature court. I lost love and love in about 30 minutes. It was embarrassing. I haven't heard his name since but once a good player always a good player. At this point I am probably a little too focused on him. Those thoughts will dissipate as I get closer to starting on Monday." 23-Aug "Played with Cykeman today. He is a Californian, 45's, very good, and a semifinalist in the grass a couple of years ago. Very physical. Powerful shots and very fast. I played so solid with him. Except for his aces I was putting all the returns back. Lobbed great over the backhand side when I was in trouble. Missed a few volleys that were shoulder height. Need to move to those 'easy' ones or they become misses. Tried a topspin forehand running lob. Smart shot. Should definitely mix it in during practice and matches. I served much better...higher percentage first serves, when I slowed down a little. I also took my time to get really clear on location. I was definite in my decisions on location. Really helped. I lost two baseline rallies by letting him get in before me. Don't get comfortable staying back against a good player. They will come in and I will have to defend with pass and lob more than I need to. I am really happy that I got this workout today. I realize again that the level of my game is good enough just as it is." 22-Aug While hitting in my lessons today I noticed that my slice backhand is disappearing. 21-Aug "With all of my talk about how I am goaled in on winning this tournament and being undisputed #1, about how I am up for the challenge of dealing with thoughts about winning and extrinsic rewards...I really know thatI am not very hooked into all that. I am just acting like that. In fact, I know clearly that my goal is to bring the game that I have been playing over the last year to Philly. To play good tennis. To be relaxed whether I am under pressure or not. To enjoy myself. This is what is important to me." 20-Aug "Practiced today with 22 yr. old Phil who practiced with me before the indoors. He stayed back most of the time so I got a v áery different look. This is what Zan tried to do last year unsuccessfully. I realized today that I can get to any ball on the grass hit from the baseline. If it comes to my backhand I can hit a nasty slice down the line or cross court. If it comes to my forehand I can spank it just about anywhere. I got to see a pretty tough kick serve. I feel a bit like Mac. on my high backhand service returns, shoulder around, racket out in front and jumping straight up will tyring to hit it flat. Phil passed me big a few times that I thought he wasn't going to get to a ball. I was standing at the service line enjoying the volley I just made and then did not close in. About the fifth time I closed and cut off two passes. " My backhand is improving every day. I feel confident that I can get around early on almost any serve to my backhand. Today on the clay I stood way inside the baseline and did this against a very fine server who I am coaching. I have so much time on the shot. I BELIEVE that I can come over every backhand. I am not being pressed enough in practice. This is likely to change on Thursday and Friday when I player from San Francisco arrives. He will hit big. I look forward to it. I feel so good with my game. I am still playing within myself. I get to everything. I get everything back in the court. I serve well on the big points. I WILL CLOSE OUT MY LEADS WITHOUT A SLIP OF CONCENTRATION. WHEN I SENSE THE END IS NEAR I WILL PLAY WITH MORE FOCUS AND INTENSITY. 19-Aug "A weekend away from the courts, I figured I would be eager to play today. Got onto the courts at Forest Hills which is such a special experience. All of the greats of the past played here. i guess that Sampras and Agassi are the end of the American great players to compete here. I get to play on the same courts and use the same locker room. It provides a good perspective on my game. I am pretty good in my little world. So many levels above me." Again I felt very confident on the grass. I am swinging at backhand returns and only chipping occasionally. I will nail down my plan on that before I get to Philly. I don't want to play too spontaneously. I must remember that I have choices about what I am going to do and in I must be diligent in making my choices. I am serving well again. Nice tempo. Good toss (Joe Perez told me I am losing 15 mph on my second serve when my toss is too far to the right.) I am staying up on it for a long time. I love the serve up the T. I am getting away from too many serves out wide to the backhand on the ad side. This is a good thing and another on my list of making choices. I was lax on a lot of volleys today. Setting the point up well and then being loosed mentally. I was a bit playful on the court and it manifested itself with these volley errors. "I played some games with Andy Udis. He is very unorthodox and his serve is a lot like Rich Causey's. I lost to Causey a few years ago in Philly because I couldn't make returns off the very low, no bounce side slice. I didn't return Andy's too well today. I will practice these tomorrow." I am so excited about this tournament. I can't wait to get there and put it on the line. 15-Aug "Closed on our new house yesterday. What a surreal day. Today I realized that one of the challenges for me is to pack, do things at the new house and get ready for the Nationals which start in 9 days. Of course work and life in general as well. Practiced today with Kirk. We talked about how we are able to help each other at the same time as knowing that we may be facing each other in any tournament, including next weeks. It feels good to give to him knowing that it may make him better, even as my opponent. Sportsmanship means so much in the game. I truly feel that I am repaying Kirk for teaching me so much about sportsmanship through the last 20 years.Tennis is so typically a selfish game. It feels good to be selfless." "I refound my serve today, tossed the ball more in front and used a more fluid motion. I moved it around very well, started going into the body more frequently and used the heavy low slice to the backhand on the ad side. Tried the run around forehand return a bunch. A couple of times it forced double faults. That feels lousy during practice even though I know I forced it a bit. Nevertheless I made two inside out beauties and will keep working on it. I realized on returns that I can be very relaxed and, as long as I move to the ball I can get a very good full backhand swing at the ball. I want to keep working on the inside out backhand return from the ad side. It is very deceptive and good to try every now and then, especially on a 15-30 or 30-40 point. " Hit lots of overheads today and felt a big improvement in my movement and consistency. "Next practice session I am going to move to the net, after serving, with much more intens ity. I am playing with too much confidence and complacency. Remember, your first match could be against a great player! Be ready. Don't think too far ahead. Get you head right. Get your game right. Do that and everything will be fine." 12-Aug "Got a call today from Elie Boukhier, a teammate from the Perry Cup this year. He is coming to Philly and has never played on a grass court. He is a great competitor but will be easy pickings for a decent player who has some experience on the grass. He told me that Zan Guerry is coming back so I am sure that Zan will be looking for me for payback." I am concerned that I am not playing enough less that 2 weeks before the tournament starts so I am going to hit some volleys and overheads this afternoon. A short workout that will focus only on the volley and overhead. It is also some good hot weather training as it is over 90 degrees today. I am most happy with the fact that I have relaxed into my game. I feel that the game that I play is good enough to be competitive at the level I am competing at. I am no longer feeling that I have to do more with each ball...that I have to hit harder each time or farther away from my opponent. Th is allows me to play within myself in a way that makes it easy to play the game. I am more relaxed about the entire playing experience. "Just back from working out. Very hot. Hit a few ground strokes. Not really relevant because the clay that I was hitting on is so different than the grass. No bounce on the grass to speak of. Hustled up to the net and worked for about 1/2 hour on overheads with some volleys mixed in. I made a high percentage of my shots although I am way to casual to play a serious match. Well, I have some time to get more intense. Also hit some serve and volley. Couldn't get a serve over the net for a while. Started to think about the way Roddick serves. First he tosses and then the rest all follows. I sort of serve that way. Image of him is helpful. It improves my rhythm. I was very tired and hot after this workout and it was only about 45 minutes. I am in far better shape to play a match than to do drills. Am I in shape enough to play singles and doubles for a bunch of days in a row? I am having some second thoughts about playing doubles. If I am doing well in the singles I might not want to play doubles. I better clarify this in my mind and then talk to Kirk about it. I want to do the right thing. I agreed with MacEnroe being ticked off at Graf when she pulled out of the mixed at Wimbledon." 08-Aug "Played with Kirk at Piping Rock for about an hour. I feel very large on the court. Need to keep working on going for my backhand, getting grounded on it. Having my shoulder around early. All very important for me to have going well so that I can execute when I get the chance off the second ball. Continued to serve well with good variation in spin and location. I am using a long slow start to my service motion, extending up high and then accelerating through the stroke. I will also work on remembering to take my time before all service points. I gain nothing by rushing and it is a sign to me of nervousness or overconfidence. Neither of those are my friends in competition." Need to put time into volley-overhead exercises. Somebody I play will have a good lob volley and I need to be ready. Have to continue going for the flat backhand return to two different locations. Also want to develop the deuce side inside out forehand return. This can be very disconcerting to my opponents. Hey let them ace me up the middle if th ey can. They can have 2 or 3 of those a match in exchange for the intimidation factor. I want to keep working hard while teaching to stay fit and light on my feet. I want to exercise my forearm and shoulder and quads and calves with weights. I also want to take it very easy so as to be 100% healthy for this tournament. I am in a daily struggle of how to maintain this balance between exercise and rest. Playing 2-3 times a week for the next two weeks doesn't feel like quite enough. Back to top 2002 Fred Perry Cup 2002 World Championships May 4...The Finals of the World Championships The run to the Championship came up one match short. I played against the kind of player that doesn't give anything away, is quick enough to get to almost every ball and able to keep everything deep. I never really got my teeth into the match. He just did everything a little better than me.... and then I started to press. I actually won more points when I was pressing but i couldn't string enough together to win games. I lost 6-2, 6-1. I was a little bit too laid back going into the match. This is something that I need to watch out for. It has cost me matches in the past in that I play at too low an emotional arousal level to to be at my best. I think that I have made being relaxed in big moments an important goal in my life. In this case it took my attention off the match a bit too much. Right now, two hours after the match I have mixed feelings. Mostly I am feeling disappointed that I did not find a way to raise my game during the match. I wanted to play better and I wanted to be in a position to play the pressure points. I am also deliriously happy that I came so close to this extraordinary goal. I always remember the saying don't be afraid to shoot for the moon...even if you miss you will still be amongst the stars. It reinforces my belief in the value of setting big goals and going after them. I discovered this week a new player in myself...somebody who can use consistency and patience to win matches on the clay. I feel proud of my effort and am pleased with how I presented myself as a representative of the USA, as a player, a competitor and as a person. I feel lucky to have opportunities like this. At the presentation ceremony, when introduced as Robert Litwin of the USA I had chills. I was moved beyond belief when they slipped the silver medal over my head. I felt like a champion, wore my medal to the airport. Of course once at the airport I was just another in the crowd shuffling through security. Thanks to all of you who lived through this two weeks with me. Your comments and support meant so much. I never felt alone. Special thanks to John for his daily energy bolts from the coast, Steve for all the strategy advice, Adam for reminding me that I am as good as all of these good players, Kirk for advice and support, Ray for always reminding me to play safe (even if I don't listen), Zim for the go to Zan's forehand suggestion, Nadine and Alan for their generous hospitality at Boca West, Jane for all the love, and Carol, Jody and Amy for always being behind me in my ongoing search for the next level. May 3...The Semis I win! I defeat Zan Guerry 2-6, 6-4, 6-2 and tomorrow play for the World Championship. Many of you know that I had my sights set on this for the last couple of months. Going to Chicago to play the Indoors, playing for the team at the Perry Cup...these were all steps to here. I am very excited. I played a very smart match today. In the first set I tried to attack Zan early in the points but I was missing way too much. I was down 0-2 in the second before I was able to reel my game in and go into the "no miss" mode. i just ran down everything that he through at me, got it back deep, recovered quickly and, eventually got him disgusted enough that he would miss. I threw in a few drop shots that worth forgetting about, but made won on a key point to break serve in the second set. I never felt any quit and believed throughout that I was being competitive on every point and on every single shot. My goals for tomorrow are to continue to play relaxed, have fun, to compete hard for every point, and to play every single shot. My opponent is a worthy won. Andrew Rae of Australia, defending World Champion and currently #1 in the World. Nice opportunity for me. May 2...Quarterfinals of the Worlds Major high point of the day was meeting Gardner Mulloy, 87 year old former great, great player. More recently he is known for winning the National Grand Slam in singles and doubles in one year in the 75 and over. There is some inspiration. It was also inspirational to see Kirk Moritz, my good friend, competing on this level and making it to the round of 16 only two years after having quadruple bypass surgery. He was one of the most fit of all the players here in the 50s. Had the pleasure of a 12:30 match time. Heat of the day and sun right in my lefty face for the first hour of the match. My Italian opponent had lost only one game in three matches and was a very consistent player. I was committed from the first point, ran down about 8 angle shots, a drop shot and a lob and won it. After one point I was sucking wind. I stayed with it, got the early service break and didn't look back. Won the first set 6-0 and the second 6-3. I almost let him back into the match in the second set, but remembered to play one point at a time and managed to close it out. I felt good on the court today. I ran down everything and stayed contained in a bunch of situations that tend to me troublesome for me. I never got overconfident, respecting my opponent's good tennis and his ability to get back in the match. Tomorrow I play the semis against Zan Guerry. I beat Zan in the finals of the National Grass Championships in September. He is happy for the rematch and has been focused on my all week, in spite of my protestations that I might not be around in the semis. He is a great clay court player with lots of experience. I know that I can compete with him for each point and that is exactly what I will do. I will play relaxed, knowing that success comes from playing my game, not from being concerned about winning or losing. I will speak with all of my support team tonight...Kirk, Mike Zim, Siegel, Ray Lake and, of course, Carol. They will help me get ready for the next push. (The F-16s didn't start to practice for their show until I had finished so I didn't need to face that challenge today...maybe tomorrow.) May 1 Round of 16 Things are going well for me this week. I played another fast match beating Paolo Lopes of Brazil 6-0, 6-2. I didn't miss too many shots and was able to hurt him when he hit short, which seemed to happen almost every rally. I served a very low percentage of first serves and I am struggling to find my serve, which would certainly be a help going forward. When I practice serving I am totally relaxed. I am not yet aware of what is different once the match starts. I will think about it and do some visualization tonight. For the most part I am staying focused on playing one point at a time. I am also staying very conscious of starting off playing with a lot of intensity...playing every ball and going for an early service break. I feel good and am having a good time in my matches. I plan on keeping that up also. After my match I watched a lot of great tennis, including Harold Solomon in singles (he was a multi times Grand Slam finalist) and Michael Pernfors (French Open finalist) in doubles. During the afternoon a couple of F-16s were buzzing the site of the tournament. They are practicing for an air show that is being held this weekend in Fort Lauderdale. One million people will be coming to town over the next two days. The air show will be going on during the semis and finals. Just another challenge for the players. April 30 Got a win today and advanced to the round of 16. I play 7th seeded Brazilian player tomorrow. I feel good. I am playing well. I need to remember to continue to be patient, to compete for every single point and to play relaxed. If I do these things I am sure I will put myself in a position to win this match. The vibe at the site today was still friendly but the level of tension has definitely escalated. Many of the fringe players are now out of the event and the best sixteen in the world are left. It is tough for the players who were expected to do well and have already lost. Many stay around for an extra couple of days and root on their buddies. It is another sign of the character of these players that they do stay around. April 29 First Match in the Worlds Arrived at the site, The Jimmy Evert Tennis Center, in Fort Lauderdale around 10 for a noon match. The JETC is a totally public facility located in Holiday Park. A little like Flushing Meadow without the stadium courts. Wide open. No shade. There were players from around the world. Hundreds of them. In fact, there are over 500 players playing this event. Men and Women from the 35, 40, 45 and 50 divisions. I love the interaction with the players. US players from other age groups whose names are familiar are instant friends when we introduce ourselves to each other. Players that I have met at the other international events are becoming friends as well....even if we don't speak the same language, we all share the game of tennis. Everybody here is somebody who has chosen to jump into the exciting world of competition. Some former greats are playing here including Harold Solomon, Zan Guerry, Tomas Koch, Frank Froehling, Sherwood Stewart, Betsy Nagelson and Peter Doohan. I respect these players for being willing to put it on the line after being at the upper echelon of the game when they were younger. I am sure that many of them will medal here. All of us, to some degree, feel the pressure of wanting to play well and win. What is so wonderful is that we all know that pushing through the pressure and the fear and, ultimately, playing relaxed and free is what it is all about. That is truly winning. I won my match against a Canadian player 6-2, 6-1. I played relaxed and free as I had decided. One of my close friends had a tough 3 set match. I asked him how he changed from being tentative in the first set to being proactive and forceful in the second and the third. He said that after the first set ended he thought to himself I don't like this. I will not win or lose this way. Sometimes all it takes is a decision to do something! Tomorrow I play a Frenchman. April 28 Final Practice day for the World Championships Got seeded between 9-16 in the Championships and, as a result, get a bye the first day. My first match is tomorrow at noon against a player from Canada. Have to be careful to not decide in advance that he isn't that tough just because nobody has heard of him. (Two years ago in Argentina nobody knew my first round Brazilian opponent and I lost in 3 sets and was on a plane home before the second round got under way.) In looking back on my play last week in the Team Championships I realized that I was not playing with the confidence that I have been feeling for most of the last year. I guess that playing in such a big event is something that I need more experience in. I came down to Florida with too little outdoor clay court preparation and in my first practice with the team my confidence was a little shaken. I still can be affected by what I think that other people think of my game. When I hit with our number 1 player I was a little tentative (just a little) and, in retrospect, in must have shaken me. In spite of playing a strong singles match on opening day, I never really felt my game was there during the week. When I lost to Spain in the semis I needed to be aggressive to have a chance to win and yet my confidence wasn't there enough and I didn't make the important shots when the opportunities arose. This continued in the doubles against Spain where I was not attacking at net and was serving, volleying and returning tentatively. I started to get a sense of what was happening in the doubles against Germany on the final day and, when down 2-5 in the first set, I became aware of all of this. I was able to start going for my shots without fear of missing and my game was back! I know what I need to do in the Worlds. I need to play confidently, without fear of result. Now that I know it I am sure that I will be playing good tennis going forward. No matter how I have played in the past, tennis is always a process of development. Awareness of where I am is a great tool and a weapon that I can use. As I practice today I will be fearless and confident. April 27 Final day of the Perry Cup What a great day! We got over yesterday's loss to Spain and got psyched to win today in the playoff for third place against Germany. Even though all of us were looking to win the whole thing we also realized that 3rd out of 16 is still very good. We knew that a good team beat us and that we were out to prove that we, too, are a good team. We won both singles and the doubles. I played doubles with Len Wofford, another lefty, and last year's National 50 Hardcourt Champ. We had some shaky moments in the first set going down 2-5, but we pulled it together and won 7-6, 6-2. The team tasted sweet victory on the final day. We all felt really good about how the week went. Closing ceremonies were wonderful, with the top three teams from each of the Cups (Men's and Women's 45, Men's and Women's 50) standing on pedestals just like the medalists at the Olympics. Many people turned out and the USA got big time cheers. The players from all of the teams were hugging each other as many had developed new friendships. Most of us felt like we were on one big team. These relationships are forged by the many days of competition as well as the social events that we all shared. I know that I will know and stay in touch with many of these people for years to come. It is a unique and special way to make new friends. We all share a love of the game and a desire to achieve new levels in the future. More to come tomorrow on my current state of mind and body heading into the World Championships which begin on Monday. April 26 Well, we hit up against the Spaniards today and they were not to be beaten. I played opening singles and lost 6-3,7-5. I played well but needed to hit way too many winners to beat a player that made only 4 errors during the match. Clearly more experienced at playing on the slow clay than me. I went down 0-3 in both sets and even though i got even in both I never was able to get my nose in front of him. It was disappointing to not provide a lead for the team going into match 2 which we won. So it came down to the doubles. Surprisingly I was called on to play with our number one player. I was eager to get out there and help win the key point. Turville, my partner, and I just never seemed to get into the same rhythm against an experienced Spanish duo that, again, played error free tennis. We dropped serve once in each set. We had chances to get back into it a couple of times by taking 0-30 leads on their serves but could never get to break point. Unfortunately we are now out of the running for the gold but we will be playing for 3rd or 4th place tomorrow against either Germany or Australia. They are both very tough. We are all proud to have finished in the top four in such a strong field. After the playoff tomorrow I am off to Fort Lauderdale for the World Championships. I have been seeded 11 or 12 in the singles. Again the field includes the best in the world. The seeding committee missed out on some very strong players, including Harold Solomon, Zan Guerry and Thomas Koch, so they are redoing the draw. I am tired right now but will definitely get pumped for my opening match, which will be Sunday or Monday. April 25 Today was an off day for us. It was our toughest day of tennis yet as we played against each other. We chose to play between 11:30-2 to deal with the heat and the sun. Things get very intense tomorrow. I will play the opening singles match against Spain. I have been overly focused on the potential of playing a great player who will drop shot me many times. I realized that he has been overly focused about playing me, the grande lefty. Good, let him worry. I feel good with my game. I am relaxed and confident that I will go out and play my match. Mantra will be patient and opportunistic. Must remember to play within myself and not try to blow him off the court. April 24 Today we played the Turks. Truly wild men. We were confident going in and were right in feeling confident. Len Wofford, our team member from Portland, Oregon, played his first singles match ever for the team and won handily. Our #1 Larry Turville also cruised in his match. Wofford and I played doubles and won 6-0, 6-1, so through three days of matches we have won all of our matches. It gets tougher now. We have a day off tomorrow to practice. Friday we play the very tough Spanish team. They, too, are undefeated. I will play the opening match against Jorge Camina who very rarely loses on the clay. It will be a major challenge for me. I will need to be patient and opportunistic. He will probably drop shot me 15-20 times in the match. I have the speed to cover these shots but that, alone will not win me the point, It will have more to do with what I do with the ball. I am excited to be in this position. I am sure it will be one of my most challenging matches that I have played to date. Tougher than a National final where I am playing for myself. Germany and Australia are paired off for the other semifinal. Until today it has been the best of the best in the world. Now it is the best of the best of the best. When I think of how far I have traveled on this path I am truly amazed! April 23 We had close call today against France. As I said before we are trading off at singles and Elie Boukheir played our opening singles match. He started off well going up 3-0 in the first set and then hurt his back. Before we knew it he was down 4-6, 0-2. I spent a lot of time on the court with him during the changeovers trying to keep him focused on his game, which, even with a bad back, was strong enough to win. But he was totally hooked into his back. We all could see it. Losing the first match in the day would have put huge pressure on us to win the next singles and the doubles to advance to the next round. My other teammates had tactical suggestions that I delivered to Elie during changeovers and he managed to pull it together to win the second set. Ten minute break. Elie, in the locker room, looked like he was done. I was given the responsibility of getting him on track. I got in his face and talked to him about his great belief in himself that his has exhibited in the past. I was forcing him to focus his attention on what I was saying. I then told him that if his back was really bad that he should stop playing because we would need him for the rest of the week. But if he wasn't going to stop, then this was the last that would be said about his bad back and that I wouldn't accept him complaining about it while playing. He got pumped, got it together and won 6-2 in the third. We then won the next singles match and the French defaulted the doubles. All in all a big win. Turkey is tomorrow and we are strongly favored. Again, being on a team, being able to coach during the match, has proved to be a very special part of this whole experience. I felt like I helped win the match today without even hitting a ball. April 22 Opening Day of Perry Cup Matches began at 10:30 this morning. I played the opening match against South Africa on the stadium court. One of my team members warmed me up for awhile and got me really ready. I got to focus totally on those parts of my game that were important to me. Also discussed with him some cues to give me during the match if things weren't going well. Like to be more grounded on my approaches, to make a high percentage of first serves, and to avoid getting overamped and loading up to much on my forehand. Coaching is allowed in team matches, so my teammates could talk to me while I was playing. Very cool concept. I support it. I was relaxed and having fun, played very within myself and won 6-1, 6-0. Wonderful feeling to win a point for the USA. My one wiggle in the match came at 5-0 in the first when, on the changeover, a spectator asked me if I was Manny Litwin's son. When I acknowledged that, yes, I am, he told me that he was Dad's business partner from 1954-66. Blew my mind. Totally thought about my Dad not being able to experience this great moment in my life. Proceeded to throw in a couple of double faults and lost the game. Then realized that this man was put there to remind me that my Dad was really there watching. We won the next singles match as well as the doubles for a clean sweep. Tomorrow a tough match against the French. And we plan on insisting that they speak English when in the USA! April 21 Opening Ceremonies for the Perry Cup We start tomorrow against South Africa. I have been selected to play #2 singles, which is the opening match, followed by #1 singles and then doubles. When I arrived it was highly probable that i was going to play doubles, but in practice i moved up from #4 to 2. so, first time ever I am playing a singles match for the usa. My teammates, each and every one, are really great guys and we bonded during practice and opening ceremonies. opening ceremonies were unbelievable, with firemen, policemen, bag pipes, music, dancers and about 300 people in attendance. it was highly emotional for all who were there. The strong feelings about the us and references to nyc were all around. very patriotic. and the other teams, representing about 20 countries were in unison with us as we all sang "I'm proud to be an American" which i didn't even know that i knew, but we all did know it and, all in all, it was a very special experience. I was so glad the carol, jody and amy were here to share it with me. April 20 Day 1 of the Fred Perry Cup at Ballenisles. How different from Amsterdam three years ago. Then I knew no one and felt truly like a rookie. I was in awe of the level of players and envious of their connections. When I arrived at the resort this morning for practice with former teammate Geoff Moore I was comfortable. Comfortable with the environment. Comfortable with the scope and size of the event. I feel like I belong here. It is interesting how it takes time to accept something on a personal level that is generally accepted by others. Most importantly comfortable with my game. Security and confidence in my ability to play and compete at this level contributed to me being supremely relaxed in my practice hour. I was unconcerned about errors except in how they contributed or took away from my game. Every error was not a reflection on whether or not I belonged. By feeling relaxed I was able to play somewhat within myself, which is truly my goal for the week. I saw the mistakes that I made as necessary evils of the first day of practice here. I will eliminate them as I go forward. Errors such as overhitting approaches or going for the down the line forehand too early in the point. I was fortunate that Geoff was drop shotting me for it gave me the chance to learn what to do with it...to drop the backhand down the line short. I also saw that I have to be a little more stable and balanced when I hit short balls and approach attempts. I know that I can do this. In addition to seeing some American players from the Mens and Womens 45 and Women's 50 teams I also saw the Aussie team including World Champion Andrew Rae. They looked very fit and very strong on the fast clay of Ballenisles. I bumped into a couple of the Spanish team players who I had met in Amsterdam. We were all happy to see each other. They don't speak a word of English but made it clear that they remembered me being a lefty. Now that I think about it, I think that I beat one of them in the quarters of the Worlds. Met some of the German team. They are all new to the Perry Cup. They wondered if Carol and I were from Australia. It is amazing to me that a European can't really tell the difference between a Canadian, American, Australian, Englishmen or a South American. Shows what a narrow view I have on the world. Back to top